Sabrina Web :privacypride: 📎
boosted
If you don't want to be polyamorous, be monogamous. No one is forcing you to be polyamorous. That doesn't mean polyam doesn't work well for other people. It's a valid relationship style. There are many different ways to have relationships💜
#polyamory #polyam #nonmonogamy #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships
If you don't want to be polyamorous, be monogamous. No one is forcing you to be polyamorous. That doesn't mean polyam doesn't work well for other people. It's a valid relationship style. There are many different ways to have relationships💜
#polyamory #polyam #nonmonogamy #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships
For those still following: I'm now able to share.
My wife of 19 years, partner of 22/23 years, fell out of love with me without me noticing or being told. She moved out early August.
I tried, so hard, went on dates again for a few months but nothing changed her side. She then stopped allowing me to take her on dates and reduced talking.
Due to zero warmth for 6 months and so much emotional pain my feelings have dwindled too.
We have agreed to divorce.
Are more reflective thinkers better at games that require empathy or perspective-taking?
In two experiments, reflective thinkers performed better on such games, seemingly because they paid more attention to the other players' incentives.
https://doi.org/10.1017/S1930297500007373
#econ #cogSci #psychology #relationships #negotiation #diplomacy #geopolitics #intelligence #defense #security #policy
4 media
unless someone is actually deceased, “too late” is a concept that I don’t really think is accurate.
Example: let’s say u & friend had a disagreement; they’re offended by your stance on something to the extent they blame u & leave.
You might not actually argued but end up not speaking for 3 years!
4 years later, somehow the time / distance resolved the hurts & you’re able to be friends again because you’re still alive.
someone shared this happened #relationships #generationalhealing #hottake
Neil Brown
boosted
I am happy to live the rest of my life alone if I don’t find the love I want, but don’t you dare pretend to be it while wasting years I could have spent being happy!
I do not consent to that ugly, dark bargain.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/please-dont-settle-for-me/
#relationships #love
I am happy to live the rest of my life alone if I don’t find the love I want, but don’t you dare pretend to be it while wasting years I could have spent being happy!
I do not consent to that ugly, dark bargain.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/please-dont-settle-for-me/
#relationships #love
"This has taken a huge toll on my self-esteem. The way that I'm talking about myself, even. I don't think that I'm worthy of partnership anymore ... why would anyone even want to have a public relationship with me. Like I'm clearly too alternative, I'm too kinky, I'm too messy, I'm too sexual, I'm whatever."
#ArdenLeigh, 2018
https://susanafrioni.com/2018/12/133/
Oof. This is a bit close to home. Something to think deeply about there ...
#podcasts #SusanaFrioni #LoveSexDesire #relationships #SelfEsteem
"This has taken a huge toll on my self-esteem. The way that I'm talking about myself, even. I don't think that I'm worthy of partnership anymore ... why would anyone even want to have a public relationship with me. Like I'm clearly too alternative, I'm too kinky, I'm too messy, I'm too sexual, I'm whatever."
#ArdenLeigh, 2018
My therapist made me do this 1of2 … but honestly, I wanted to
🌱 After dating dismissive + fearful avoidants, I needed a checklist to spot healthier patterns.
🚩 Red Flags
⚠️ Shuts down or avoids intimacy
⚠️ Hot‑and‑cold, inconsistent behavior
⚠️ Withdraws during conflict
⚠️ Blames, avoids responsibility
⚠️ Fears closeness, pushes away
⚠️ Ignores or disrespects boundaries
✅ Green Flags
❤️ Open with feelings, empathetic
❤️ Consistent words + actions
❤️ Talks through issues calmly
❤️ Owns mistakes, seeks growth
❤️ Comfortable with closeness + independence
❤️ Respects boundaries, values teamwork
👉 Quick screen: notice patterns, watch consistency, choose someone whose emotional style supports my well‑being.
Notes: Green flags only — red flags retired, green flags required
My therapist made me do this 2of2 … but honestly, I wanted to
🌱 New Partner Checklist
✅ Look for:
❤️ Emotional availability: open with feelings, empathetic, talks through conflict
❤️ Communication: consistent words + actions, listens, validates
❤️ Security: reliable, comfortable with closeness, present in hard times
❤️ Self‑awareness: learns from past, owns mistakes, open to growth
❤️ Compatibility: shares values, respects boundaries, sees partnership as teamwork
❤️ Attachment style: balanced independence + intimacy, comfort with vulnerability
🚩 Avoid: shutting down (dismissive) or swinging between closeness + distance (fearful).
✨ That’s my therapist‑approved checklist. What are *your* red & green flags? ⬇️
Childhood Friends, Not Moms, Shape Attachment Styles Most
https://nautil.us/childhood-friends-not-moms-shape-attachment-styles-most-1247316/
#HackerNews #ChildhoodFriends #AttachmentStyles #Psychology #Relationships #SocialScience
have you ever written yourself a letter to remind yourself to look for the person you love when that person seems like someone you could never love?
#askFedi #Relationships
yes abusers and enablers really do this. no it doesn't make sense. yes sometimes well meaning people say thoughtless things like these. but abusers employ these strategically, as weapons. and then the more contradictory they are, the harder it is for victims to make sense of it and to escape the mental maze. the nonsense is an effective and insidious strategy in such cases.
If you're someone who is trying to be there for an abuse survivor and you said stuff like this? Don't worry. You can apologise and repair the relationship if there was damage.
In fact, proving that apologising is possible and not a power play and not a big deal or an injury to your pride, and that relationships can be developed, strengthened and even repaired? That is one of THE most powerful things you can do for a survivor!
The worst wounds that abuse inflicts is by hurting relationships and by teaching unhealthy dynamics and attitudes, like entitlement, as the supposed norm. It is easy to disprove that just by being a friend, a flawed messy HUMAN BEING who doesn't need either of us to be perfect.
Dating: A Mysterious Constellation of Facts
#HackerNews #Dating #Mysterious #Constellation #Facts #Relationships #Love #Insights
In a similar way to how I must acknowledge, as a white person, that I’m richer than most Black and brown people are.
These dynamics help those who hold the most power to become richer, and they foster division among us.
In this thread, I’ll cover a bit of ground on the gender side of things...
⬇️
#Patriarchy #Money #BlackLivesMatter #Feminism #SocialJustice
There's a dilemma when it comes to male/female relationships.
Because of our cultural abandonment of children and our collective focus on power and competing (both cornerstones of our society, and yet oddly taboo as a conversational topic), most children grow up without the levels of love and support they need to thrive.
Including, of course, boys.
⬇️
"Who should pay?"
CW: controversial.
Many men are poor. But women, as a group taken together, are poorer. And this is true in all countries in the world, not just those known for gendered oppression.
If you’re a man who’s interested in having more connection & understanding, I think it's important to consciously know this, “I am richer, in money terms, as a man, than most women are.”
(Refs at the end)
A thread 🧵
⬇️
phildini
boosted
I was talking with a friend about the phenomenon of Finding Love in the Fediverse (I have several friends who have done it) — and he was shocked to hear it was even a thing.
That conversation's got me curious, so I want to open the question up:
Has anyone ever slid into your DMs respectfully and appropriately on Fedi? Have you ever initiated that kind of contact yourself?*
*I'm truly talking about appropriate, welcome, consensual connections, not randos harassing people. If you don't understand the distinction, I recommend that you stay out of this conversation and just quietly read and learn. (Anyone who responds with how women are mean to them will be recognized as a derailing troll and blocked accordingly -- hush, the adults are talking )
#AskFedi #AskMastodon #FediDating #FediSingles #MastodonDating #Romance #Dating #Relationships
Tommi › FOSDEM 🤯
boosted
With Congress on the horizon, the #RelationshipGeeks assembly volunteers are starting to organize and work on this year's program.
We can't wait to tell you all about the interesting workshops, talks and events awaiting you at #39c3 later this year.
Before that we want to give you the chance to get involved :)
If you want to contribute to the next edition of the assembly, join our Signal chat and get in contact!
https://signal.group/#CjQKIMGDvwWArEiCYitSUc14rYzceB5xQpwcNoAbhSj84RT0EhBQWoqUFepq__ZB9nrTS6g4