My therapist made me do this 1of2 … but honestly, I wanted to
🌱 After dating dismissive + fearful avoidants, I needed a checklist to spot healthier patterns.
🚩 Red Flags
⚠️ Shuts down or avoids intimacy
⚠️ Hot‑and‑cold, inconsistent behavior
⚠️ Withdraws during conflict
⚠️ Blames, avoids responsibility
⚠️ Fears closeness, pushes away
⚠️ Ignores or disrespects boundaries
✅ Green Flags
❤️ Open with feelings, empathetic
❤️ Consistent words + actions
❤️ Talks through issues calmly
❤️ Owns mistakes, seeks growth
❤️ Comfortable with closeness + independence
❤️ Respects boundaries, values teamwork
👉 Quick screen: notice patterns, watch consistency, choose someone whose emotional style supports my well‑being.
Notes: Green flags only — red flags retired, green flags required