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Crissy🐆💚👸🏻
@Crissy@tech.lgbt  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

My therapist made me do this 1of2 … but honestly, I wanted to

🌱 After dating dismissive + fearful avoidants, I needed a checklist to spot healthier patterns.

🚩 Red Flags
⚠️ Shuts down or avoids intimacy
⚠️ Hot‑and‑cold, inconsistent behavior
⚠️ Withdraws during conflict
⚠️ Blames, avoids responsibility
⚠️ Fears closeness, pushes away
⚠️ Ignores or disrespects boundaries

✅ Green Flags
❤️ Open with feelings, empathetic
❤️ Consistent words + actions
❤️ Talks through issues calmly
❤️ Owns mistakes, seeks growth
❤️ Comfortable with closeness + independence
❤️ Respects boundaries, values teamwork

👉 Quick screen: notice patterns, watch consistency, choose someone whose emotional style supports my well‑being.

Notes: Green flags only — red flags retired, green flags required

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Crissy🐆💚👸🏻
@Crissy@tech.lgbt replied  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

My therapist made me do this 2of2 … but honestly, I wanted to

🌱 New Partner Checklist

✅ Look for:
❤️ Emotional availability: open with feelings, empathetic, talks through conflict
❤️ Communication: consistent words + actions, listens, validates
❤️ Security: reliable, comfortable with closeness, present in hard times
❤️ Self‑awareness: learns from past, owns mistakes, open to growth
❤️ Compatibility: shares values, respects boundaries, sees partnership as teamwork
❤️ Attachment style: balanced independence + intimacy, comfort with vulnerability

🚩 Avoid: shutting down (dismissive) or swinging between closeness + distance (fearful).

✨ That’s my therapist‑approved checklist. What are *your* red & green flags? ⬇️

#relationships #healing #attachmentstyles

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Crissy🐆💚👸🏻
@Crissy@tech.lgbt replied  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

Closing Thoughts
🌱 This isn’t a dating ad — it’s a manifesto. I’m not opposed to dating, I just prefer not to right now.

I’ve reflected on past relationships and the patterns I refuse to repeat.

Honestly, I don’t need marriage — been there, done that, got the paperwork. What matters is true partnership. A legal status change means nothing if the person isn’t compatible.

For me, it’s about intentional co‑creation: knowing who someone is when they show up, building together with clarity and choice — not stumbling into an arrangement or hiding behind labels.

✨ Compatibility + authenticity > titles. That’s why I made the flags list — not to chase perfection, but to spot alignment when it arrives.

Came up with an aphorism: Partnership is practice, not paperwork — and practice is way more fun when it’s intentional.

Experience taught me:
💥Marriage is paperwork, partnership is art 🌱 — and I only co‑create masterpieces.

👉 Your turn: what’s your definition of true partnership? Drop it below ⬇️

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