#Tag
The cracks that made me easy to shatter for so long have been filled.
I poured my newfound confidence and sense of self into them, using HRT as a binder.
That glow you’ve mistaken for illness is my light, finally flowing along razor sharp fiber optics to the surface.
Neon kintsugi.
The cracks that made me easy to shatter for so long have been filled.
I poured my newfound confidence and sense of self into them, using HRT as a binder.
That glow you’ve mistaken for illness is my light, finally flowing along razor sharp fiber optics to the surface.
Neon kintsugi.
"Wrestling is pretty much indistinguishable from drag."
T Boy Wrestling queers it up, inviting wrestlers who are "trans men, nonbinary people, butch lesbians or gender-nonconforming people (and as long as cis dudes act right, the more the merrier)."
"The sport helps trans people feel present in their bodies, and it creates space for a queer masculinity that we can root for."
It's a special kind of joy when you tell your friends your chosen name and they respond "Nice to meet you Teresa." 🥰 #TransJoy
It's a special kind of joy when you tell your friends your chosen name and they respond "Nice to meet you Teresa." 🥰 #TransJoy
"Wrestling is pretty much indistinguishable from drag."
T Boy Wrestling queers it up, inviting wrestlers who are "trans men, nonbinary people, butch lesbians or gender-nonconforming people (and as long as cis dudes act right, the more the merrier)."
"The sport helps trans people feel present in their bodies, and it creates space for a queer masculinity that we can root for."
5 years ago today I placed a needle against my thigh, whispered a small prayer, and pushed down the plunger. It’s been a wild ride since, but I’ve never regretted that decision for a moment.
To anyone facing their own leap of faith: make the jump. You’re worth it, and it’s never too late.
5 years ago today I placed a needle against my thigh, whispered a small prayer, and pushed down the plunger. It’s been a wild ride since, but I’ve never regretted that decision for a moment.
To anyone facing their own leap of faith: make the jump. You’re worth it, and it’s never too late.
Was in a chat about pre-transition fitness activities, and I remembered the time I ran a marathon. Decided to dig up some photos, and honestly I didn’t recognize myself in that first photo at all.
She did good back then, ran a marathon in 4 hours and 36 minutes, and more importantly she finished.
That first photo was 12 years ago when I was 30. I’m now 42, and been on HRT for nearly 4.5 years now. It’s never too late.
Was in a chat about pre-transition fitness activities, and I remembered the time I ran a marathon. Decided to dig up some photos, and honestly I didn’t recognize myself in that first photo at all.
She did good back then, ran a marathon in 4 hours and 36 minutes, and more importantly she finished.
That first photo was 12 years ago when I was 30. I’m now 42, and been on HRT for nearly 4.5 years now. It’s never too late.
I found roller skates my size for sale, barely used, for cheap, with protective gear thrown in for free.
My partner, @sparrowsion , was kind enough to pay for me to buy the skates, since cheap or not, I am still perpetually broke.
And it's like... aside from getting into roller derby as a sport, this feels like such a... moment. A milestone.
I am absurdly happy and giddy. My first pair of roller skates!
...except it's not? xD
Like, if you count roller blades, which I did use to have as a kid (hey, it was the nineties), this is NOT my first ever pair of skates.
But like... I know it's stupid to gender things, but it's like... it was a boy gift for a presumed boy, getting and then using the roller blades felt... masculine-coded.
I can't explain it. Some things just... are. I was never a girl getting her first bicycle even though I owned many bicycles in my life. I was never a girl getting her first pair of roller skates. Prepubescent AMAB and AFAB kids are not that different in any inherent ways, but gendered patterns are already there, because everyone unknowingly puts them there.
I feel like this is righting a wrong. That it's as part of getting into possibly the most queer sport there is? That's just a cherry on top.
I know my need to rethink, recapture, redo, repair things related to not having had a girlhood as a kid borders on obsessive. I know that. But I think I might need it? I am trying not to be ashamed of it. I'm almost forty, but some childishness is just... I don't know. Inevitable. I need this. I need to catch up. I need to feel things I never felt properly, I need a do-over even if it might make no sense to cis people or even perhaps many trans people.
If I don't get these things, if I don't recapture and don't take possession of my past and present, I'm afraid I might just... start screaming. And screaming. And screaming. And never stop screaming ever again.
That's how it feels. You know?
So let me try this again.
My first pair of skates! I'm so excited!!
I found roller skates my size for sale, barely used, for cheap, with protective gear thrown in for free.
My partner, @sparrowsion , was kind enough to pay for me to buy the skates, since cheap or not, I am still perpetually broke.
And it's like... aside from getting into roller derby as a sport, this feels like such a... moment. A milestone.
I am absurdly happy and giddy. My first pair of roller skates!
...except it's not? xD
Like, if you count roller blades, which I did use to have as a kid (hey, it was the nineties), this is NOT my first ever pair of skates.
But like... I know it's stupid to gender things, but it's like... it was a boy gift for a presumed boy, getting and then using the roller blades felt... masculine-coded.
I can't explain it. Some things just... are. I was never a girl getting her first bicycle even though I owned many bicycles in my life. I was never a girl getting her first pair of roller skates. Prepubescent AMAB and AFAB kids are not that different in any inherent ways, but gendered patterns are already there, because everyone unknowingly puts them there.
I feel like this is righting a wrong. That it's as part of getting into possibly the most queer sport there is? That's just a cherry on top.
I know my need to rethink, recapture, redo, repair things related to not having had a girlhood as a kid borders on obsessive. I know that. But I think I might need it? I am trying not to be ashamed of it. I'm almost forty, but some childishness is just... I don't know. Inevitable. I need this. I need to catch up. I need to feel things I never felt properly, I need a do-over even if it might make no sense to cis people or even perhaps many trans people.
If I don't get these things, if I don't recapture and don't take possession of my past and present, I'm afraid I might just... start screaming. And screaming. And screaming. And never stop screaming ever again.
That's how it feels. You know?
So let me try this again.
My first pair of skates! I'm so excited!!
Today is a very important day to me. I came to realization of my sexuality and gender in May 2017. I came out of the closet in that June. But at the time I went by they/them pronouns and an agender identity so I wasn't sure if I would change my name. I had a friend who was curious if I would. I worked full-time/overtime in Culinary and was processing a divorce so to get her off my back I told her.
"Yeah, sure write me a list and I will tell you what I think"
I did not expect her to succeed. She sat down with pictures and a nonbinary friend and they came up with a list. On it was my name. When I read it I blacked out for a moment. I tried deadnaming myself afterwards and it caused great discomfort. I went to therapy and work the next day and changed my name to "Taylor".
October 11th is more important than when I came out because changing my name gave me space and permission to dwell on my personality seperate from who I used to be. I learned I was shamed out of feminity so I avoided it. I came out again a few months later as a trans woman. Had my first boyfriend a few months after that.
I've had friends start to tell me they love me more now than they ever did before. That I have become a more enjoyable person and that was not just because I let these people feel my blossoming trans titties, but because I had changed. Changed into a playful but brave woman that they really enjoyed. The core parts of me stayed but a lot of me shone through with a radiance my best friends of 20 years admired and loved.
A name is very important to us within the community. It gives us permission to be what we hid, and a place to leave all that closeted garbage behind. When my parents finally came around they told me that Taylor Lilian was a beautiful name and one they could have seen themselves naming me if they had known.
Today is a day of personal celebration because, as much as knowing my sexuality isn't straight and my gender isn't cis-oriented is important, it is not nearly as important as who I am and what I stand for. It's why it's so important to respect a trans person's name because I am absolutely not that sad, fedora-loving, depressed, dysphoric, piece of shit. I am Taylor and you can take that from my cold dead queer hands.
#transjoy #nameversary #lgbt
Today is a very important day to me. I came to realization of my sexuality and gender in May 2017. I came out of the closet in that June. But at the time I went by they/them pronouns and an agender identity so I wasn't sure if I would change my name. I had a friend who was curious if I would. I worked full-time/overtime in Culinary and was processing a divorce so to get her off my back I told her.
"Yeah, sure write me a list and I will tell you what I think"
I did not expect her to succeed. She sat down with pictures and a nonbinary friend and they came up with a list. On it was my name. When I read it I blacked out for a moment. I tried deadnaming myself afterwards and it caused great discomfort. I went to therapy and work the next day and changed my name to "Taylor".
October 11th is more important than when I came out because changing my name gave me space and permission to dwell on my personality seperate from who I used to be. I learned I was shamed out of feminity so I avoided it. I came out again a few months later as a trans woman. Had my first boyfriend a few months after that.
I've had friends start to tell me they love me more now than they ever did before. That I have become a more enjoyable person and that was not just because I let these people feel my blossoming trans titties, but because I had changed. Changed into a playful but brave woman that they really enjoyed. The core parts of me stayed but a lot of me shone through with a radiance my best friends of 20 years admired and loved.
A name is very important to us within the community. It gives us permission to be what we hid, and a place to leave all that closeted garbage behind. When my parents finally came around they told me that Taylor Lilian was a beautiful name and one they could have seen themselves naming me if they had known.
Today is a day of personal celebration because, as much as knowing my sexuality isn't straight and my gender isn't cis-oriented is important, it is not nearly as important as who I am and what I stand for. It's why it's so important to respect a trans person's name because I am absolutely not that sad, fedora-loving, depressed, dysphoric, piece of shit. I am Taylor and you can take that from my cold dead queer hands.
#transjoy #nameversary #lgbt
Oh, I forgot to post my #TransJoy moment from the other day.
Picking up my kid from school, one of the other kindergarten kids looks at me and says "you're so pretty!"
Oh, I forgot to post my #TransJoy moment from the other day.
Picking up my kid from school, one of the other kindergarten kids looks at me and says "you're so pretty!"
Happy “national” (really International) Coming Out Day! I am out to everyone in my life now except my in-laws, and that’s just waiting on my partner to feel ready.
I am proudly queer and gender queer. I have been bisexual and pansexual, and am now gray asexual. I am a non-binary trans woman.
Oh, and for those keeping track, it is now THREE days to my appointment for HRT prescriptions!
#ComeOutComeOutWhereverYouAre
#ComingOutDay
#TransJoy
[Deleted and reposted public, as this IS Coming Out Day!!]
Happy “national” (really International) Coming Out Day! I am out to everyone in my life now except my in-laws, and that’s just waiting on my partner to feel ready.
I am proudly queer and gender queer. I have been bisexual and pansexual, and am now gray asexual. I am a non-binary trans woman.
Oh, and for those keeping track, it is now THREE days to my appointment for HRT prescriptions!
#ComeOutComeOutWhereverYouAre
#ComingOutDay
#TransJoy
[Deleted and reposted public, as this IS Coming Out Day!!]
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