Serious question! Our apartment complex's pool is heated, but it's still pretty cold when you get out of the pool. I was contemplating buying bathrobes with the hope that we'd use the pool more, but Kev says that might make us look like swingers. Is that true?
Discussion
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@Alice ONLY if they have pineapples on them. Or tigers.
When I told you I was a big swinger, I meant my moods.
@Alice If you have two legs you look like a swinger.
You need a new bathrobe. You must!
@Alice Avoid pineapple or pampas grass logos!
@Alice
Better you should catch pneumonia than chance someone judging you.
@Alice What an interesting cultural phenomenon!
Finland is the land of communal saunas in every apartment complex. A bathrobe is the most normal garment.
@Alice I was going to comment, but it looks like the swingers here have covered all the bases from what I can ascertain from SwingerPedia.
@Alice I wanted to suggest crocheted swimwear, but that could go either way.
@Alice Get a blue plaid flannel knee length bathrobe, and some one will talk to you about their colonoscopy. Red plaid - arthritis. Green plaid - extensive dental work or hearing aids. Swingin'.
@Alice
Only if you wear a Borat swimsuit underneath.
@Alice
Why look like swingers when you could buy long raincoats and look like flashers?
@Alice
I think not. Even so, what if you look like swingers? That's not so bad. Swingers see the most action.
New lifestyle just dropped
Swingers, but instead of sex, it's friendship
"my wife and i noticed you from across the shrine and we really dig your vibe."
Have you met my wife? She is a kind and supportive person....
@Alice
You'll look like boxers, Alice, not swingers.
No worries.
@Alice There is a garment made for this very purpose … the swim parka
@Alice
As a swinger, wearing clothes is not really our thing.
@Alice Get bathrobes emblazoned with upside-down pineapples, and Bob's yer uncle.
@Alice I think that as long as whatever robes you choose aren't full of upside down pinneapples or the words "SWINGERS" in embroidered in neon ... you should be fine.
@Alice
I think it depends.
Like if you had something like this... a hooded snuggie, especially one in Beige you'd be okay. However, if you had a little gnome on the front I think it could be interpreted that you are indeed a swinger.
I sent this to @Waitnwallflower and had to advise her against her desire to rep the gnomies but she insisted.
Wait a minute. 🤔
Wallflower?
Okay! We settled on getting swim ponchos, but now I'm worried that it's not going to be obvious enough that we're swingers, so I guess I need to get "Swingers" in a baseball font embroidered on the poncho?
"Swingers" in a baseball font embroidered on the poncho
@amiserabilist Ooh. I like the pocket placement which is also approximately Kev's penis placement so it will occasionally look like Swingers is in 3D.
@Alice Ahhh, this seriously looks like something I would wear to the beach because I sunburn the very second I step outside. I am the nerd in the long sleeve sun shirt *in* the pool. 😖
I am kind of digging the stripes and the big pocket. If it folds up into that pocket? I'd be sold.
I think the style and color of bath robe (or wrap) should be taken into consideration. Red velvet? You're inviting gossip and side-eye. Leopard print? Do you also have cat-eye sunglasses and an updo? Pokémon print? A little bit paedo, even if you remain an avid player in your 40s on up .
Also you need to consider how easy something is to put on over a wet swimsuit. Pullover things aren't always the easiest for that, unless they are ridiculously voluminous, which this does appear to be!
As far as the beach goes, does the fabric retain sand? Terry cloth would to an irritating degree.
(Full disclosure: this is coming from someone who has spent many blissful hours at clothing-optional hot springs in the dead of winter, where you absolutely need fluffy and warm items that are easy to don right outside the pool, otherwise you're gonna freeze your everything right off.)
@arisummerland I started by looking at the Sand Cloud poncho which appears to be good for brushing off sand, but maybe not as warm as I wanted. I figured Terry cloth would be best for me because it would be warm and kind of double as my towel.
I try to avoid sand because I find myself finding sand in random places for years after every encounter with sand, so I think I’m good there!
@Alice make them leopard print, and Kev's needs to be uncommmmmfortably short.
@Alice swing batter, batter!
@Alice needs more upside down pineapples on it
@Alice
I’m envisioning matching bucket hats. For all those key parties.
@Alice really an outfit that says "we're not like, one of those uptight, boring cults. we're a cool cult that knows how to make space for you and your active lifestyle!"
@Alice And/or write "JUICY" across the butt.
@Alice pineapple prints are popular.
@Alice Take a look at a provider of swim gear. They have all kinds of pre/post swim apparel. I've seen Olympic swimmers wearing full length puffers
@Alice the upside down pineapple doormat outside your apartment for the win!
@Alice Okay, the real question is what matching image will be embroidered over the back of the bathrobes so that everyone knows you're not just casual dressing-gowners, but *serious* about the terrycloth life.
@Alice I think one follow-up here is: Is it a bad thing to look like swingers?
@Alice yes I fear Kev is correct.
Switch it up with Kimonos instead - add a kitana for good measure.
I'd wager hotdog costumes would also do the trick 
@Alice I would question his reasons for apparently wanting to avoid wintertime swimming. Get suspicious!
@Alice I've used bathrobes after being in pools for decades, and nobody's ever invited me to any swinger parties. =(
I call bull.
I think the only thing that will make us look like swingers is if we try to lure our neighbors to join us in the hottubbbb or leave a half-full fishbowl of keys by the entrance.
@Alice i was listening to some podcast on how divorce rates are down and these Gen Xers called gen z "more puritan than ever"
@Alice But how else will you find new couples to swing with? It's no fun swinging alone.
@Alice [Autism powers activating.] None of these keys are for cars or door locks. That one there is still stuck inside its luggage lock.
@Alice yeah, if not it’s gonna be more like cosplaying Coccoon 😆
@Alice I would definitely grab the keys with the Ferrari logo! I always wanted to drive one of those!
@Alice Agreed. Get bath robes.
Yes, so you must do it.
@Alice @photovotary You're an adult. Do whatever you want, and if people are judgey, that's on them.
@photovotary I seriously want to do it because I want to use the pool in the winter but the air is so cold once you're out.
My only fear is the short walk of shame from the pool back to our apartment where our neighbors might be like why TF are these people walking around in bathrobes?