Lead and Circuses A RECENT CONSUMER REPORTS STUDY FOUND HIGH LEVELS OF LEAD IN SEVERAL PROTEIN DRINK MIXES. HOW MIGHT THIS PLAY OUT? INITIAL ALARM Guy drinking Alpha Boar Plus Protein Blast drink: GLUG GLUG GLUG! THEY FOUND WHAT? PODCAST TOPIC The BIFF and BRAD SHOW Podcaster 1: LEAD IS STRONG METAL, MAKE MAN MORE STRONG. Podcaster 2: ROMAN GLADIATORS, LIKE, CHUGGED LEAD. GOVERNMENT ENDORSEMENT FDA official: WE ENCOURAGE AMERICANS TO CONSUME AS MUCH LEAD AS POSSIBLE, AND OTHER HEAVY METALS TOO. In front of him are product containers: PRE- 1978 PAINT CHIPS Smoothie-Ready! ARSENIC GEL Cadmium Chews LEAD-FREE FOOD BANNED Corporate guy: FINALLY OUR CHILDREN WILL GET THIS DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS METAL IN EVERY BITE! ©2025 Jen Sorensen