#rootpost for #monsterdon
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alright you jokers what the hell is this movie #monsterdon
i have left every experience of people trying to get me to like dr who bored to tears, so now i guess is another chance to like this thing that everyone else seems to like #monsterdon
@jonny Oh, no, there’s no possibility of that here. #Monsterdon
so far i'm rooting for this woman's hair, everyone else including the woman underneath it i can take or leave #monsterdon
the janky ass dr who box is incapable of scanning for signs of life like large concentrations of electromagnetic radiation or heat sources or terraforming over some local time window, it just shows up in a random spot and they may or may not discover the massive city right next to where they spawned #monsterdon
isn't dr who basically a god, how can you invent a time machine but also not invent any surveying equipment or even like a readout of where the fuck you are #monsterdon
it's like the first and only intuition you need for urban exploration: don't go in anywhere that you don't have a guaranteed path back out out of. if a door has a mysterious opening and closing mechanism that requires you to touch a chair on the other side, you don't go through that door. these guys deserve to get juiced down into machine oil or whatever the bad guys do with them #monsterdon
if someone exploited some knowledge power differential to lie and trap me on an alien planet that would be the last time i would go to an alien planet with that person, the doctor isn't just incompetent he can't be trusted #monsterdon
wait so the daleks aren't robots? they're mechs and the robot part is just a rad suit? why are they talking all robotlike #monsterdon
@jonny That is the same as in the canon series. I think the answer is they've mutated so much they can't produce their native language anymore and instead of changing the language to the sounds they can make, they've made voice synthesizers out of pride and stubbornness
@WizardOfDocs Is that right?
what makes your wall-e'd out ass think that if you had a better rad suit you could walk around on the rocky surface of the planet. your muscles are probably pretty much jelly by now #monsterdon
give this little girl like closed toed shoes if you want to stake the future of your species on her being able to go out and harvest rad juice or whatever it is she's doing #monsterdon
bro don't disguise yourself as a huge glowing rock if you're trying not to scare little girls in the haunted alien woods #monsterdon
if a magical alien shows up and relayed a treaty between species through my granddaughter, i would probably want to check out the magical alien cloak that made it appear like a floating glowing rock a little before taking a nap under it #monsterdon
you have a time and space machine and don't have a button that can summon the time and space machine to your current time and location #monsterdon
@jonny I think he did once at one point, but it is very inconvenient for the story, so that had to not be a thing. 😆
To be fair, while the real TARDIS isn't just some room with wires running around everywhere, it is an ancient, worn out machine that has like half of its functions broken down and he never gets around to fixing. (Hence it showing up as a police box. He never ever got around to fixing the chameleon circuit and it just got stuck that way, lol. TARDISes are supposed to blend in as something befitting the time and location where they land.)
the city of cute twinks that are also floating glowing rocks has let their diplomatic knowledge lapse in their pastoral forest existence, so now they are totally credulous to the most basic machinations of the mutant robot mech race that they used to live alongside in a state of constant conflict #monsterdon
"do you think he's dead"
"... go over there"
#monsterdon
dog you are getting inside someone else's wall-e pod where they live their entire life, you can just smell the fuckin film of life paste over every button and joystick #monsterdon
the dalek's most dangerous weapon is an extendo claw with like 3 inches of clearance and even if the little girl puts both her hands directly in it, she can just break out #monsterdon
your entire plan rests on them not suspecting you are just a guy in one of their mech suits, and they have cameras all over their facility, and you want to get out because it's HOT IN THERE??? #monsterdon
you design your city so a one inch elevator misalignment completely obliterates your ability to move #monsterdon
elevators make sense in a society where people of all different shapes and sizes and modes of movement and carrying different things and moving in groups and so on. if your society was based around mechs where everyone was exactly the same size and shape and inside a mech suit you would just do like... hooks. or a forklift. and you would build your mechs so that there was a way for them to easily dock in a container for rapid movement.
anyway the conception of the dalek society is lazy and underdeveloped #monsterdon
ok so we made it back to the time and space machine so if we want to try and repair this timeline why aren't we rapidly teleporting back and forth through time to acquire the proper resources and historical context and so on to rectify it. and for that matter why aren't we just going back in time to when the crisis happened and stopping it. i don't get what the status of time and space travel in this universe is but i don't know how there could be another half hour of this movie #monsterdon
so like we are randomly teleporting back in time to a random alien planet, spending like one day learning about its history, and the good outcome is encouraging a peaceful people to go to war? #monsterdon
i think it probably takes more preparation than looking at a map for a few minutes to prepare a pacifist society to go to war against a technologically advanced and violent mech species #monsterdon
imagine how productive this group could be if everyone wasn't constantly putting their entire bodies in locked rooms or quicksand or enchanted pools #monsterdon
quick, everyone, to the top of this matte painting! #monsterdon
@jonny Against the Daleks? Yeah...
@jonny It is hilarious that you think that is the main indicator of Dalek implausibility.
@jsadow it's called "an illustrative example"
@jonny Another example is they are designed in a variety of festive colors
@jsadow it makes sense to have a means of identifying individuals, and sure why not festive colors, but they have so few colors and don't seem to have like.. a nametag or something. and they don't seem to have any means of identifying each other at all since it was possible for the human to just get in one and kinda sound like one of them a little bit and they were fooled #monsterdon
@jonny They must only be able to identify each other through color because they all speak in the same voice so maybe they can detect subtle variations in holiday toy colors.
@jonny You should see what a problem stairs tend to present to Daleks. 😆
Most of the time the camera has to cut away for a bit...
(Though, to be fair, with the seventh Doctor they solved the problem by suddenly having the ability to levitate but only over stairs 😆 )
@jonny
A remote control would be nice.
@jonny she would fit perfectly within the Dalek Suit!
#monsterdon
@jonny maybe they are just lazy
@jonny yeah they're all RFK clones inside there like the golum looking dude in The Last Jedi
@jonny That's just how they always were.
You never saw any of the TV series? They've exposed the actual Dalek inside many times.
@nazokiyoubinbou no i have not managed to make it through an episode because i find them very boring #monsterdon
@jonny Wow...
Anything you want at your funeral? 😁
@jonny I get the feeling this exists outside the typical continuity but who the heck knows
@SnoopJ well i don't know what the continuity is all i know is that inventing a time machine without the ability to see where you're going is like inventing a car but forgetting to put a windshield on it #monsterdon
@jonny I think we're doing "scatterbrained scientist" after that "in my laborator—oh" delivery
@SnoopJ tell scatterbrained grandfather to fucking go back in time and mine some gold or whatever he needs to do to hire a damn assistant to help him remember to put a clock in the time machine #monsterdon
@jonny Feeling like you've been had? 😆
