tuning in a few minutes late, i am extremely pleased to see slick talking 50's wiseguys #monsterdon
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must be a real pain in the ass to coordinate bookings only at carnivals next to haunted lakes #monsterdon
haunted oceans, whatever #monsterdon
man really a hard road trying to make ends meet as a carnival hypnotist soul jailer who is trying to break into the academic establishment to practice hypnotic soul jailing in the hospital #monsterdon
tip to hypnotic soul jailers everywhere: if the cops are questioning you about your role in a murder, don't say suggestively "it was no living thing that killed her"
#monsterdon
the reason i'm wearing a mustache right now is because it's such a good bit and has always been a good bit throughout time. like what are all these guys doing with their faces. why are all their mustaches so goddamn busted? that's just what mustaches are for, for being busted #monsterdon
i'm totally tuning out this entire "men talking to each other through their noses" scene and can only focus on this guy's mustache and how it has carved it out from one narrow tooth-width street below his nose #monsterdon
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though every word was actively repelled from my being, i gathered from that last scene that there is some large sum of money to be made in hypnotic soul jailing but there is an ethical hypnotist who refuses to launder the reputation of soul jailing hypnotists because it sets the scientific field of hypnosis back by generations #monsterdon
taking a wild stab at the plot here: there are dueling hypnotists, a good one and a shady carnival soul jailer one, orbiting a bit sum of money to be made in Big Hypnosis and the attendant merchandising and so on. Then there is also the spirit of femininity manifest in an ancient sea monster that the carnival hypnotist is trying to channel into this women who he has soul jailed. And then they are going to... uh... #monsterdon
STOP and give the person who did the sea monster's KELP HAIR a raise #monsterdon
WHAT is the economic upside of channeling ancient sea monster souls!?!?!?!? #monsterdon
did they make fun of italians in a 1950's racist way by making them go
"pizza's pooped"
"the poopza's peed"
#monsterdon
oh wait they're not italians they're... what in gods name is that accent #monsterdon
YES bitch enter in a CAPE!!!!!!! #monsterdon
rare wikipedia shade
#monsterdon
retvrn to when all scientific disputes were settled by competing masculinities in a rich guy's parlor #monsterdon
hypnotizing this woman until she believes she can do an irish accent, we'll make billions #monsterdon
if you go back in time enough then everyone is just like an irish sea monster floating in the abyss of the cosmos #monsterdon
so the sequence of events is
- astral project this women back in time to when she was an irish sea monster
- summon a dog
- mind control the dog
- the dog is not very mind controlled
- everyone's going to die
so in the movie, if you go back far enough in someone's prior lives, at first it's all fun and games where they speak in a funny accent, but eventually their mind splits and their prior lives just get fully reconstituted and resurrected, piloted by the psyche of the hypnotized person #monsterdon
scene change? SCENE CHANGE?!!! everyone just saw a woman transcend time and flee for their lives from a murderous sea monster and you scene change???? #monsterdon
so the good hypnotist is now convinced of time travel hypnosis, and the two hypnotists are buds, and the conflict in the plot just comes from how the soul jailer hypnotist is addicted to summoning a murderous sea creature through this woman #monsterdon
no wait the conflict in the movie is that the soul jailer hypnotist can't make this woman love him despite being able to scrub her mind freely back and forth through all time and all her prior lives at will, and so he has no choice but to go all the way back to when women were a murderous sea monster species and kill everyone in the present #monsterdon
the one plot hole here is what on earth is going on with the good hypnotist's eyes and why is he always boggling like a rat #monsterdon
last week i asked for a movie that made me go "what the fuck is going on for real" and wow this movie is certainly delivering #monsterdon
ok what is so special about this one woman, why can't the hypnotist with all his mega riches find some other woman who likes being channeled into her sea creature past to murder everyone with #monsterdon
it's an important methodological limitation that casting someone's immortal soul into a hemideity/cryptid requires the constant high partial pressure of water and spirits that can only be found near a haunted ocean #monsterdon
fuck yeah baby blast the newsreel montage into my veins, this is how information propagates #monsterdon
there are so many threads they are keeping in the air - the dog, the ocean, the steam, the academic rivalry... you can't just add a love triangle into the middle of all that #monsterdon
ancient sea monsters just hate seeing it when people make out!!!! #monsterdon
so listen i am expecting nothing less than the other hypnotist having figured out how to summon kaiju and for this to turn into a full on kaiju movie #monsterdon
they did the love triangle entirely in subtext and now we are expected to care about the woman being in love with the other hypnotist. if elizabeth's soul was instead like intent on being free then maybe they could motivate the sea creature murders as being just a wild expression of a repressed soul, but making her just be in love with the other hypnotist is such a waste #monsterdon
i can only recognize three men in this movie: the evil hypnotist by the oil in his hair, the good hypnotist by the bulge in his eyes, and the rich plutocrat by the tooth in his mustache. every other man is a total blur, and there are anywhere between 2 and 9 of them #monsterdon