Whenever I go to museums, I like to pause in front of stuff that definitely isn't art and talk about the "art" and how it makes me feel just to make the other people think they're missing something.
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@Alice there's a scene you'd love in the Italian classic «Dove vai in vacanza» (where are you going on holiday)
@Alice this, to me, is what photography is all about
@Alice at first you might be tempted to compare this to Malevich's "White on White" or even "Black Square", but the softer palette and complex interplay with the lighting in the gallery show a much more advanced understanding of shadows and color in the real world. This installation piece, by design, can only be experienced in situ where all of these factors, combined with the deliberate anonymity of the artist, meld to create a stunning examination of man's inhumanity towards his fellow man.
@Alice that last one piece of art really makes you think about men insecurities. Are you really sure that is a men bathroom? Might need some extra labels to be absolutely certain.
@Alice John Cleese in Doctor Who and the City of Death, admiring the TARDIS as it dematerializes: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0811664/characters/nm0000092/
@Alice Bad news, Alice. The water cooler photo actually is art.
@Alice @tezoatlipoca Awesome photos! The experience of the mundane…
@Alice Ah. In art galleries I've been known to spot someone being too ostentasiously "arty" and stop near them while saying to my companion "Ah, but if only he'd been able to draw a horse that looked like a horse".
@Alice When I went to grad school an advisor came into my studio to look at my work, paused, and asked about a bunch of black wires dangling from a nail in the wall near my computer...
Advisor: "Oh, so what is happening here?"
Me: "That's where I keep my USB cables."
@Alice My favorite piece: What is a Man? The repetitive visual of neutered icons that, in the public sphere, represent one version of "man" as advertisement for the expectations of a culture of an idealized stolid figure, emotionless, standing stock still - the irony of man as inanimate, and unanimated, a cartoonish rendering of what "man" is supposed to be. Juxtaposed against the most basic defining inelegant function of humanness - the shared toilet room - what we cannot contain we are involuntarily forced to excrete. A toilet room that does not appear to contain its function, its symbolism seeping out past the walls and onto the floor, staining it - as proof that despite the confines of imposed definition, humanity in all its unique insistent messiness will prevail.
Ta da!
This is how I got through art criticism in college. 
okay but you’re basically the artist and the audience at the same time, and that’s a whole mood. museums need more chaos like this, fr.
this is ironic genius, impaired stuff!
brava!!
fuq spell correct. inspired, inspired, inspired!!!
@Alice you think it's funny, wait until you visit a wax figure musreum and you are innocently watching an exhibit and notice a couple old people looking at and discussing you.
Then you know how that poor stepladder in the museeum feels.
( 😁 )
@Alice Once in the Zachęta gallery in Warsaw the husband has been taking photos of beautiful light switches, the old gallery guard lady protested with "this isn't art"!
@Alice
It could be fun to play museum guard for some of these things
@Alice Once in school, teacher gave us 90 min. to draw a picture on the theme "Me at School". So I went to the student council room (my favorite room there) and drew it. After about 85 minutes my picture was finished, but unfortunately, it didn't include any people. I'm not good at drawing people.
So, in the last few minutes, I just drew a hole in the floor and a hand sticking out of it.
The teacher was deeply impressed bc of the meaning he could see in the hole and the hand 
@Alice What do you mean, it isn't art? Everything can be art, depending on how you look at it. Random objects are the best art ever.
@Alice Next time bring some didactic panels along with names like "Untitled Contemplation #45" so you can stick them to the wall and keep people guessing long after you've been there
@Alice but seriously, that drinking fountain photo IS art.
there has certainly been enough modern art that had things like bricks on the floor, a collection of mops/brooms, etc. that were supposed to be exhibits. why not expand the field? :)
Too tired to make up an equivalent Thomas the Tank Engine story this time. I'll see if I get inspired later.
@Alice Hah hah. "No, that's a trash can" -- Wonder Woman.
https://www.wordingart.com/2020/12/wonder-woman-1984-trash-can-art/
@Alice they're art, though, & your photos have made them moreso. :)
@Alice
This is SO YOU, Alice, and so delightful.
You are one of us, one of us!
@Alice with eyes, a pout, and a pointy hat.
@Alice
Lol, reminds me of Red Dwarf
"This piece in particular is stunning, its lines, its form... Pray, what do you call it?"
"The... Light switch"
"The light switch..."
"Yes"
"I can't... Buy it then?"
"Not really, I need it to turn the lights on and off"
"Its a pity because if it was, it could be considered... A masterpiece."
Season 6, episode 2 Legion
This was essentially my Intermedia Art class in college. I put a piece of tape around one of my bottles of red OPI nail polish, submitted it as “found art,” titling it “Passion, Contained.”
I received an A grade on the piece.
