A basket full of kittens had arrived at the library. The note read, "Treat them well or suffer."
The librarian scoffed, picking up the basket. The kittens mewed; one licked his finger.
"No begging, I'm taking you right where you belong. A library is no place for filthy animals."
"You're home early," his husband exclaimed.
"They need a bath and a lot of training if they're going to be around books."
"Undoubtedly! Leave the task to me."