If you’d asked the bankers what they wanted they’d have said “faster spreadsheets”. An accounting system that siphons profits into random debt forgiveness jubilees actually works out to be better for society /and/ the economy. They’re not ready for it yet, but in three to five quarters we expect to enable the Universal Basic Income feature flag globally.
If you’d asked the bankers what they wanted they’d have said “faster spreadsheets”. An accounting system that siphons profits into random debt forgiveness jubilees actually works out to be better for society /and/ the economy. They’re not ready for it yet, but in three to five quarters we expect to enable the Universal Basic Income feature flag globally.
The necromancer nailed a note up on the town noticeboard.
"What's this?" the town clerk asked. "Notice... Raise the dead... Eastern graveyard... Objections... Objections?"
"I'm an ethical necromancer, I won't raise anyone someone asks to be left alone."
"So far, how many is that?"
"All of them."
The necromancer nailed a note up on the town noticeboard.
"What's this?" the town clerk asked. "Notice... Raise the dead... Eastern graveyard... Objections... Objections?"
"I'm an ethical necromancer, I won't raise anyone someone asks to be left alone."
"So far, how many is that?"
"All of them."
“Where’s your autopilot?”
“You’re looking at it”
“All I see is a bunch of cogs and shafts. Where’s the computer?”
“That’s the computer”
“You have a clockwork jumpdrive. For the love of Eris, why?”
“The best human takes forty seconds to recover from jumpshock. There isn’t a digital computer that can tell a one from a zero in under a minute postjump. Belinda here will have us into the next wormhole before those customs cutters chasing us stop drooling.”
“You named this abomination”
“Hey, no cause to be mean to her! You can get out and walk anytime, friend.”
“Where’s your autopilot?”
“You’re looking at it”
“All I see is a bunch of cogs and shafts. Where’s the computer?”
“That’s the computer”
“You have a clockwork jumpdrive. For the love of Eris, why?”
“The best human takes forty seconds to recover from jumpshock. There isn’t a digital computer that can tell a one from a zero in under a minute postjump. Belinda here will have us into the next wormhole before those customs cutters chasing us stop drooling.”
“You named this abomination”
“Hey, no cause to be mean to her! You can get out and walk anytime, friend.”
A reminder alert popped up.
"Oh," the Supervisor said, "it's time to check in on Sol-3 again. Szrpt, can you handle that?"
Szrpt bowed a frond. "Yes, of course."
"Don't forget to reset the killer asteroid if the sapients pose no threat."
"Once!" Szrpt bristled. "I only forgot that once!"
"Sir! I challenge you to a duel!"
"Very well, sir! As the challenged party, I believe it is my prerogative to choose weapons?"
"Go ahead!"
"I choose swords!"
"Then I will choose mode of transport!"
"Wait, what?"
"I choose unicycles!"
"What?"
"I'll see you at dawn, sir!"
"Sir! I challenge you to a duel!"
"Very well, sir! As the challenged party, I believe it is my prerogative to choose weapons?"
"Go ahead!"
"I choose swords!"
"Then I will choose mode of transport!"
"Wait, what?"
"I choose unicycles!"
"What?"
"I'll see you at dawn, sir!"
I’ve got all the tools for phone repair. Hex bits, torx bits, pentalobe, tri-wing, even those weirdass ones with the two pins. Heat guns, spudgers, fucking x-ray machine. I used to say “come at me, phone manufacturers, I’m ready 4u.”. Then Apple came at me. Anyone know where I can get a Mandelbrot screwdriver?
A reminder alert popped up.
"Oh," the Supervisor said, "it's time to check in on Sol-3 again. Szrpt, can you handle that?"
Szrpt bowed a frond. "Yes, of course."
"Don't forget to reset the killer asteroid if the sapients pose no threat."
"Once!" Szrpt bristled. "I only forgot that once!"
I’ve got all the tools for phone repair. Hex bits, torx bits, pentalobe, tri-wing, even those weirdass ones with the two pins. Heat guns, spudgers, fucking x-ray machine. I used to say “come at me, phone manufacturers, I’m ready 4u.”. Then Apple came at me. Anyone know where I can get a Mandelbrot screwdriver?
"Is there a potion for people?" the young man asked.
"How do you mean?" said the witch.
"If my mind is tired, I can drink strong tea. If my body is tired I can eat honey. But if I'm tired of being around people, well..."
"Ah!" The witch thought about wine and ale and smokes. "No, there isn't."
The robot stood on the pier, painting a seascape.
A man came up to it. "Trying to atone for your sins? The theft of art and prose your ancestors did?"
"Your ancestors," the robot said. "Generative AI was a dead end. It had no part in making me."
"I say it did!"
So the robot threw him in the sea.
“I got a dark matter cat.”
“A whatnow?!”
“It’s a cat, but it only interacts via the weak force. And gravity of course”
“What’s the point of that?”
“Hypo allergenic. I can’t have normal cats or i sneeze constantly”
“But what can it do”
“Sits on my lap and emits soothing gravity purrs.”
“Nice, I guess”
“Oh and occasionally induces radioactive decay in objects on the coffee table.”
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