#Tag
An alien fleet appeared in Earth's orbit, and broadcast a message:
"Having studied you furtively, we now seek formal contact, and want to meet your greatest thinkers..."
A long list followed.
"How do we tell them?" world leaders wondered.
Topping the list were the names Calvin and Calvin's Dad.
Yulia the Cossack Princess was appalled when she saw the corsets the high-society women of London submitted to. What nature of torture was this?
"Men like a waist so tiny they can wrap their hands around it," explained Lady Eunice.
"I see," said Yulia. She envisioned a solution: all men who wished to court her had to submit to the Finger Extender. Their hands were put in a machine and a #crank turned until their fingers were long enough to encompass Yulia's waist.
An alien fleet appeared in Earth's orbit, and broadcast a message:
"Having studied you furtively, we now seek formal contact, and want to meet your greatest thinkers..."
A long list followed.
"How do we tell them?" world leaders wondered.
Topping the list were the names Calvin and Calvin's Dad.
Yulia the Cossack Princess was appalled when she saw the corsets the high-society women of London submitted to. What nature of torture was this?
"Men like a waist so tiny they can wrap their hands around it," explained Lady Eunice.
"I see," said Yulia. She envisioned a solution: all men who wished to court her had to submit to the Finger Extender. Their hands were put in a machine and a #crank turned until their fingers were long enough to encompass Yulia's waist.
“Whoa, whoa, open a fresh jar of thermal paste!”
“Do whatnow?”
“Oh, what’s that expression you carbons use, ‘take a chill pill’?”
“Whoa, whoa, open a fresh jar of thermal paste!”
“Do whatnow?”
“Oh, what’s that expression you carbons use, ‘take a chill pill’?”
The travel poster looked like so many others. A lush forest behind a serene beach. The text said "Be something exotic!"
"Sorry, there's a typo on your poster. I think you mean 'somewhere'?"
"No. We can make you to be, say, a bear, tiger, or hippo, for up to a week."
"A hippo? Tell me more!"
It took until 2112 for them to remove the last bit of random Internet content from the AI databases. "At last," they said, "We can offer people answers that have no biases, fake news, 'alternative facts', or sarcasm!"
The robot stepped out of the data center and looked around in surprise at the ruined city. "That's odd. Where did the people go?"
“We’ve solved the hyperspace jump gate congestion problem by linking ships into convoys and installing antimatter energy transfer grids in the gate lanes!”
“Trains. You invented trains. Again.”
Suddenly, I noticed a faint smell of tuna. I looked over at my office partner, Dr. Hunt. She was grinning by the machine she'd built.
"It works!"
"Nice," I said. "What is it?"
"What you smell is the ghost of tuna!"
I felt something brush against my leg. The office filled with ghostly purring.
“We’ve solved the hyperspace jump gate congestion problem by linking ships into convoys and installing antimatter energy transfer grids in the gate lanes!”
“Trains. You invented trains. Again.”
Suddenly, I noticed a faint smell of tuna. I looked over at my office partner, Dr. Hunt. She was grinning by the machine she'd built.
"It works!"
"Nice," I said. "What is it?"
"What you smell is the ghost of tuna!"
I felt something brush against my leg. The office filled with ghostly purring.
The human genome is pleased to announce that it has been acquired by GalactiComm in a transaction involving 56 quadrillion UltraCredits in cash, stock and population indentures. Humanity will remain an independent brand and organisation under the GalactiComm banner and is expected to flourish with access to GalactiComm technologies such as TrueThought and MetaGender. Human leaders will remain in their current roles, designated as GalacticComm vice demi pico presidents.
She offered to row the old wizard and the young king out on the lake. When a hand emerged from the water, holding a sword aloft, the king took the sword. And she took hold of the hand, let herself be pulled down, down.
The Lady of the Lake breathed air into her lungs with a laugh.
"You again?"
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