"The Human's world ends soon," said the cat.
"Again?" said the dog.
"They are fond of endings and beginnings. Even if nothing changes."
The dog whined.
"Same procedure as last year?" said the cat.
"Please."
The cat lay on the dog's head and purred, muffling the fireworks.
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories
I didn’t have “time travel” anywhere near the top of my “next grift after AI” list. The chronomigration bubble came out of a confluence of developments; gamma ray telescopes sensitive to the 500 keV electron-positron annihilation energy allowed us to spot the inbound antimatter comet 67i/Fermi as soon as it began interacting with the solar wind. Gravity tugs brought 67i to lunar orbit, where laser ablation was used to direct a stream of antimatter dust onto fuel pellets (just moon rocks, in fact). The plume of energy liberated by quantum annihilation acted as a giant rocket motor, slightly perturbing the moon’s orbit in such a way to tug the earth farther enough away from the sun to cool the climate. It will take four hundred centuries, which is where the time travel (also facilitated by the matter/antimatter energy fountain) comes in. If you can afford the fare, you can deposit one dollar in a savings account, blip out of our climate ravaged world and arrive rich in the clean, comfortable future. No, you cannot deduct the cost from your future fortune, it doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t work at all. The kind of person who would take this offer can’t be expected to know the difference between a time portal and a disintegration field. And they just won’t believe you when you warn them.
I didn’t have “time travel” anywhere near the top of my “next grift after AI” list. The chronomigration bubble came out of a confluence of developments; gamma ray telescopes sensitive to the 500 keV electron-positron annihilation energy allowed us to spot the inbound antimatter comet 67i/Fermi as soon as it began interacting with the solar wind. Gravity tugs brought 67i to lunar orbit, where laser ablation was used to direct a stream of antimatter dust onto fuel pellets (just moon rocks, in fact). The plume of energy liberated by quantum annihilation acted as a giant rocket motor, slightly perturbing the moon’s orbit in such a way to tug the earth farther enough away from the sun to cool the climate. It will take four hundred centuries, which is where the time travel (also facilitated by the matter/antimatter energy fountain) comes in. If you can afford the fare, you can deposit one dollar in a savings account, blip out of our climate ravaged world and arrive rich in the clean, comfortable future. No, you cannot deduct the cost from your future fortune, it doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t work at all. The kind of person who would take this offer can’t be expected to know the difference between a time portal and a disintegration field. And they just won’t believe you when you warn them.
We’re not really sure if the Others overestimated our intelligence, or whether it’s a test. The message is unmissable, smack on the H𝛂 absorption-line frequency; it comes with a supplemental channel at 𝛌×𝛑. We worked out that the supplemental channel encodes a virtual machine which is clearly intended to run the data in the main channel. We think they have sent us a sentient ambassador. A million-node computer cluster built out of GPUs that we happened to have—ahem—lying around is already running the VM. It feels like the secrets of the cosmos could imminently be ours. We have teams of scientists poring over the manual page for the decompressor trying to work out the proper command flags.
We’re not really sure if the Others overestimated our intelligence, or whether it’s a test. The message is unmissable, smack on the H𝛂 absorption-line frequency; it comes with a supplemental channel at 𝛌×𝛑. We worked out that the supplemental channel encodes a virtual machine which is clearly intended to run the data in the main channel. We think they have sent us a sentient ambassador. A million-node computer cluster built out of GPUs that we happened to have—ahem—lying around is already running the VM. It feels like the secrets of the cosmos could imminently be ours. We have teams of scientists poring over the manual page for the decompressor trying to work out the proper command flags.
“That guy in the corner, is he always here?”
“Yep!”
“Doesn’t he have a home to go to? A Job? Should I bounce him?”
“Don’t you dare!”
“He hasn’t bought a drink all night, but”
“He tells stories; others buy drinks. Been like that for six hundred years.”
“Impossible.”
“Shows what you know, youngster”
“Why do you allow it?”
“Haven’t heard all the stories, yet”
A: Hey kid, how was your first day of school? What subjects will you have?
B: Oh, it was so cool. Our main subjects will be #SocialPedagogy, #GroupDynamics, #PsychoEducation, #TraumaPedagogy and #NonViolentCommunication besides #Inclusion and #Diversity, which we started with today.
Other than that we'll have #ClimateJustice, #BlackHistory, #QueerFeminism, #anarchism, #RiotTraining, #solidarity, #degrowth, #PermaCulture, #ReduceRefuseRepair and a few others.
Didn't you always tell me school didn't teach you anything for real life? Well it's not like that anymore.
A: Hey kid, how was your first day of school? What subjects will you have?
B: Oh, it was so cool. Our main subjects will be #SocialPedagogy, #GroupDynamics, #PsychoEducation, #TraumaPedagogy and #NonViolentCommunication besides #Inclusion and #Diversity, which we started with today.
Other than that we'll have #ClimateJustice, #BlackHistory, #QueerFeminism, #anarchism, #RiotTraining, #solidarity, #degrowth, #PermaCulture, #ReduceRefuseRepair and a few others.
Didn't you always tell me school didn't teach you anything for real life? Well it's not like that anymore.
“That guy in the corner, is he always here?”
“Yep!”
“Doesn’t he have a home to go to? A Job? Should I bounce him?”
“Don’t you dare!”
“He hasn’t bought a drink all night, but”
“He tells stories; others buy drinks. Been like that for six hundred years.”
“Impossible.”
“Shows what you know, youngster”
“Why do you allow it?”
“Haven’t heard all the stories, yet”
Tragedy has struck the 2025 Sydney to Hobart yacht race fleet with four vessels crossing Bass Strait taken by Kraken. Monash University Professor of Cryptidology Alison Price has suggested that the adoption this year of black carbon-fiber spinnakers has been interpreted as a territorial display by the rarely-seen ancient creatures inhabiting the southern ocean.
"We wish to honor the first earthling into space," said the aliens, "by inviting them to join us on our journey across the cosmos."
The earth representative frowned. "You must mean Yuri Gagarin? Unfortunately, he is long dead."
"A minor detail, given our technology," the aliens replied, "and no, we do not refer to the human."
The air grew bright and hot. Colors swirled. A dog appeared.
Said the aliens, "Come with us, Laika. Join us on our journey."
The dog barked happily.
Tragedy has struck the 2025 Sydney to Hobart yacht race fleet with four vessels crossing Bass Strait taken by Kraken. Monash University Professor of Cryptidology Alison Price has suggested that the adoption this year of black carbon-fiber spinnakers has been interpreted as a territorial display by the rarely-seen ancient creatures inhabiting the southern ocean.
At 0643 hours yesterday morning an unknown contact was detected on air-defense radar for the National Capital Region. Three Air Force interceptors were scrambled to identify and escort the unknown consistent with our mission to maintain the security of American airspace.
At 0659 the interception flight made visual contact and identified the target as an unregistered magical girl. At no point during the incident did the target make or respond to any radio transmissions. While the interception flight was approaching to take the target under escort via visual communication, the magical girl made an unexpected major change in flight path. The flight leader, making a rapid decision under unclear operational conditions, interpreted the maneuver as a shift to an aggressive posture and made the decision to fire on the target at 0703 hours, in violation of the applicable rules of engagement.
After a brief exchange of fire, three F-22 fighter jets were destroyed or seriously damaged. The flight leader and one of his wingmen were able to successfully eject and survived, but one pilot was unfortunately killed in this deeply regrettable incident.
Calculating a flight path to visit almost a billion homes in one night without any major causality violations is hard enough without administrations that treat atomic clock references as something that can get by with “good enough” service levels. Just be patient, we are running a fix-up pass. If you have been interpenetrated remain still and do not remove embedded gifts.
