I haven't actually written about gender stuff here in a while, I'm realizing. 😅
When I first came out, I did a ton of reading about labels and landed on "agender." My felt sense of gender was a whisper most of the time, and I felt it was more important to me to focus on being myself than to try to conform to a particular part of the gender binary. Even my early transition goals were reflective of this: I remember wanting to avoid breast growth entirely when I first started fHRT.
These days, I feel like the "agender" label is fitting me less. I have boobs, and I *like* that I have them. I haven't made drastic changes to my wardrobe, but I've absolutely added more femme touches. That sense of gender is much louder than it was before, even if it still doesn't feel like it fits cleanly into the binary.
Where does that leave me?
The word "queer" has been a much more regular part of my vocabulary since coming out, and the idea of "queering"—of pushing back on norms when they don't fit—has been a consistent part of my adventure. With respect to gender, then, "genderqueer" is probably the best fitting label for me these days. (I'm very certainly queer in other ways too; I've adopted Nick Walker's "neuroqueer" to describe my neurodivergence, and am certainly some flavor of relationship-queer.)
Anyhow, if you see me using "agender" a lot less going forward, now you know why. ☺️
