Warning: Very long sentimental post.
TL:DR Small acts can have huge impacts if you're kind to people. Sometimes you don't know how much difference you make, but being nice is a superpower.
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Support the younglings!
I have a super creative, super intelligent, deeply caring and thoughtful autistic person in my life; one of my children.
I introduced them to a ton of different music just by being around it. I also introduced them to a way to make music, via a computer, even though I barely knew how myself, when they were 8. They ran with it and now it's their life (I have a separate origin story but thats for another time).
The point of this post is to highlight how community and small acts of support can build confidence in people, allowing them to be themselves.
I learnt of a music project in 2017, The Dark Outside, where musicians and audio artists would submit music/sounds never heard before, to be transmitted over FM radio in a 24 hour broadcast in a remote forest in Scotland. To listen in, people would have to go to the site with a radio. People did. Well known artists rubbed shoulders with complete novices, beamed out into dark Scottish forest to weirdos who made the effort to go and listen.
We submitted a tune, when the Eldest was 13, which was accepted and broadcast. A few months later the organiser, Stuart, asked if his record label could use the track on a compilation tape. Alongside amazing musicians, including some members of Mogwai, who we loved. Amazing. We said yes, of course.
I'm going to take a pause for context now. The Eldest was very much a 13 year old outsider in an all boys secondary school. Undiagnosed autistic in a harsh environment. Bullied, no easy way of putting it, heartbreaking as a parent.
Back to nicer things. It became apparent that Cosi Fanny Tutti (of Throbbing Gristle and a further illustrious career) had a copy of the tape! On their SoundCloud account proper music heads had followed (in particular Clair from Hotgem music who is a star ❤️). This made a bullied kid feel seen.
We had been going to an annual electronic music festival in London, BPM, which had a lot of very reputable artists playing in historic churches in the city. What was nice was the vibe. The artists hung around and listened to each other, not just in and out. Plaid, Luke Vibert, B12, Daedalus, Mira Calix, Lorraine James and many more.
At 14, a kid who was a bullied outsider at school just walked up to Daedalus and dived into a conversation about their set and musical theories generally. The Eldest saw themselves as a contemporary and Daedalus treated them the same way. Not patronising, genuine. He was genuinely delighted at the feedback he got too. A lovely man.
Related. I have been a lifelong fan of Black Dog/Plaid. Massively. The Eldest too, through my love of them. They played RPM twice. The first time I took the Eldest to say hello, we had a chat, nice. The next year, Stuart (from the Dark Outside as mentioned above) had sent them the Eldest's music and they got to talk about it in person 🤯. Plaid (specifically Andy) sent us the stems of their, then, unreleased single to remix and play with. Amazing and generous. Imagine, chatting with your musical heroes at 14 about your work, and them sending you their unreleased raw material to play around with!
One last thing. The Eldest submitted a track called Dawn for The Dark Outside, broadcast in 2019. They were 15 at the time. In a change of location it was transmitted from Elizabeth the Firsts hunting lodge in Epping forest, near where we live. We were able to go along and tune in, alongside others. The event was heavily supported by The Quietus, an online culture site (if you don't know about it look it up, it's the best), so much so that Luke Turner, founder and chief editor, was manning the operation overnight.
I was a long time supporter and fan of The Quietus, I actually received a copy of his autobiography for Christmas which I hadn't yet read. As the sun was setting over the forest Luke wandered over and struck up a conversation with us. We explained the Eldest's tune was being broadcast at some point, then it came on, a Vangellis sounding track as the sun dipped behind the forest. When it finished there were cheers, close by and in the distance from listener's in the forest. Luke congratulated the Eldest and said it was great.
Magic moment. True story. Went back to being nobody loser on Monday morning at school.
They had a real moment of respect and awe with a grown up, an intellectual person of note on Wednesday, but on Monday it was pure bully shit again from idiots.
If you made it this far down bless you. All true.
The point is. Lift up the younglings. Give them your time, wisdom and understanding. Small things are huge sometimes.
Not just them. Encourage all people always.
It's never too late if you don't shut the gate!
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