@jonny@social.coop
I'm late but I need a good one tn please #monsterdon I pray you are not a Jules Verne movie
Post
Replies:
15
contemporary hospitals suffer from a phenomenon known as "alarm fatigue" where the uncoordinated mass of sensors and devices make it very difficult to tell when a device is malfunctioning normally and when the patient has succumbed to a mummy fungus and 30% of the surface area of their body is bone now #monsterdon
t+0: "somebody musta broke in"
t+1: (green paste covering the entire door)
t+2: "it's the fungus"
and that's how you do a two second exposition scene to make sure everyone is still aware that the mummy fungus is happening #monsterdon
nowadays the cool thing at frat parties is to always carry a roll of toilet paper in case someone shouts a joke about current events undirectedly into the room so you can do a relevant mummy-related sight gag as a group #monsterdon
LISTEN when i tell you that it is such a true reflection of the inherent vice of fraternities and sororities that they might throw a party themed after the thing that is killing all their friends, what i mean is that this was the UNANIMOUS RESPONSE to something called "covid 19" #monsterdon
listen toots if you think i'm buttoning up my shirt to go check on whether the mummy fungus has figured out how to manipulate the electric grid, you can think again #monsterdon
at Anytown University we made sure to put the archaeology department inside a nuclear reactor, just in case #monsterdon
let me be clear i have yet to discern any distinct characters and am perceiving this movie as a disconnected fluid of line delivery where every person is brand new in every scene #monsterdon
the closest i can come is
- guy whose shirt is too unbuttoned
- bowtie professor,
- smart glasses woman (mild antagonist)
- incorrect aspect ratio mustache
- extremely cheap split grain leather jacket
and the rest are interchangeable #monsterdon
the plot requires that there be two men chasing this woman's affection, but since the two men are not distinct entities and neither is the woman it's impossible to say what it means that one of the men gave her the bracelet because they are the same man #monsterdon
ANCIENT ALIENS DIRECTION!@!!!!!!! CONFIRMED!!!! #monsterdon
the necklace is so loud that it can be heard at uniform intensity at all distances from the woman, so she must have already been deafened and become unaware of the necklace #monsterdon
ok if she starts running into the dark lit by the light of the glowing mummy necklace that will be the end of me #monsterdon
YA GIRL ITS THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OR SEEN THAT LOOKS LIKE THAT THAT IS THE PROBLEM, YOU ARE LEARNING! #monsterdon
holy shit did they just take great pains to slow-mo show us that the mummy means no harm and has just been trying to recollect its orbs. #MummyRedemptionArc #MummyIntegrationIntoModernSocietyArc #monsterdon
none! of the scientists! ever suspected! the extremely loud glowing jewelry! that suddenly started showing up around town with the mummy!!!!! narrative tension has peaked!!! #monsterdon
