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Shiri Bailem
@shiri@foggyminds.com  ·  activity timestamp 2 days ago

Random bit of trans vocabulary as I've recently seen people rejecting a phrase because they were confused by it.

"Socialized male" and "socialized female" aren't synonyms for someone's sex, they are experiences and culturally relevant.

People are confused because the term "socialize" has multiple meanings.

One is something done by you: "I was socializing with my friends"

One is something done to you: "I was socialized as a man"

To summarize Webster respectively:

The first is "to participate actively in a social group"

The second is "to fit or train for a social environment'

We say someone is "Socialized Male" or "Socialized Female" not to indicate what their sex is, but to indicate that in their formative years they were saddled with the expectations and treatment associated with "male" or "female" in our society.

The trans women getting confused think it means something like "grew up as men" or that our social groups were men, and that's not at all it.

It means we were treated as men.

We usually grew up with more women in our social circles than men, even if we didn't know we were trans yet. We were often seen as an exception, which means even our acceptance was flavored by it.

What "socialized male" means to me is that I grew up being labeled a predator and a threat by default.

Even if I wasn't specifically raised such, I was still affected by the fact that so many men were raised to believe it was okay to lie, cheat, and manipulate to abuse women. And because of that there was literally nothing I could say or do to convey that I was being genuine because far too many were dishonest about it.

I had to build entire patterns and routines of behavior around how to behave around women to make them feel safer, almost always to my personal detriment.

I to this day am still anxious and hesitant in so many interactions because for decades of my life they were forbidden to me because they were far too likely to make someone I care about feel unsafe.

When I say I was "socialized male" it means that was something done to me. I had to figure out how to navigate life and survive while being forced into a traumatic box by society that didn't remotely fit me.

#Trans #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA

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Shiri Bailem
@shiri@foggyminds.com replied  ·  activity timestamp 2 days ago

For those familiar with dog training:

Your dog socializes with other dogs.

You socialize your dog to teach it how to behave in public.

One is something the dog does, the other is something you do to the dog.

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