The problem with Indiana Jones is that they've used the most incredible MacGuffins so there's really nowhere else to go except aliens and time travel. How can you possibly follow up the Ark of the Covenant. You can't. Unless.......
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@TheBreadmonkey Oh. Dear. Ghods. I am NOT going to click on your link, Ben. Really not in the mood to learn more about this. Especially annoying to see it is illustrated in classical art. Ewwww.
@TheBreadmonkey I thought that and then I played Great Circle, which is easily the best Indiana Jones film since Last Crusade, despite being a game.
@TheBreadmonkey Every man in a small church in Ecuador starts spontaneously bleeding from their foreskin. Catholic Church sends in investigators to determine if it’s a real prepucemata only to find it’s demonic.
@TheBreadmonkey
Holy Prepuce!
That's MY new catchphrase, Ben.
@Guillotine_Jones @TheBreadmonkey catchphrases belong to everyone!
Indiana Jones and the Foreskin of the Christ Child
Our titular hero must defeat the fanatical followers of the cult of Elon Musk in a race against time to rescue Jesus' wang-tip from falling into the wrong hands and unleashing the lords holy penis power.
@TheBreadmonkey Thinks: cloning possible?
He's returned! And so has he! And him! Now you too can have your own, personal Jesus!
@TheBreadmonkey They're not breeding, it's immaculate conceptions!
@TheBreadmonkey A must have is a scene where Indiana Jones hides the magic foreskin in his mouth. Inspired by real relic thieves.
But what would the magic power of this artifact be? The grail let you live forever and the covenant melted people (and we are apparently just ignoring all those other grails that were obviously also highly magical, just in another direction).
@drgroftehauge @TheBreadmonkey
Just pretend it’s calamari, Indy…
No, NO! NO CHEWING! 😱
@TheBreadmonkey I think they've missed a beat by not having Indiana stealing relics in the Korean war. He could be fighting the Chinese, I guess.
They could make it more contemporary I suppose. Get the main protagonist army - instead of the Nazis or the KGB...... to be Redditors.
Most powerful erection of all time
Like diamond. And it shoots a laser beam. That delivers... I don't want to say an explosive orgasm because I think that's just too easy. Or instant death. Maybe it washes away all of the sin. Pow! Sin free, baby!
@TheBreadmonkey @drgroftehauge
You could have a wand battle like in Harry Potter!
Also, has anyone seen my coin purse?
@TheBreadmonkey @drgroftehauge Plus 10% off communion wafers for life?
Edit: 90% off first thing in the morning.
Snakes?! Why did it have to be snakes?! That's not a snake Indy......
*Indy confidently lifting aloft the most shriveled foreskin of the selection of foreskins on the table*
"That's the prepuce of a carpenter".
Gently biting between his teeth like testing gold
@TheBreadmonkey @Shivviness He has to replace it on the table with his own foreskin, because to access the power requires a sacrifice
@TheBreadmonkey say what you will about the creativity of this plot line - but if the franchise goes in this direction it'll be a dick move.
@TheBreadmonkey
I'm on the edge of my seat, Ben, wondering how the Antichrist fits in to this script.
Penis battle (respectful 🙏)
@TheBreadmonkey is this actually something happening right now or some outre plot idea you have? I can't tell anymore.
In one of the infinite realities it is screening right now. It's the surprise smash hit of the year, revitalising the cinema industry. People cannot get enough of the holy peen. Harrison Ford is saying its the most meaningful project he's ever worked on. Loads of people are getting circumcised out of respect.
@TheBreadmonkey It's a collaboration between George Lucas, Harrison Ford and the Carry-On Movies' actors, who are all immortal.
@TheBreadmonkey little baby jesus is really judging us from that painting, isn't he?
This has the power to defeat entire armies.
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