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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party  ·  activity timestamp 9 hours ago

The problem with Indiana Jones is that they've used the most incredible MacGuffins so there's really nowhere else to go except aliens and time travel. How can you possibly follow up the Ark of the Covenant. You can't. Unless.......

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce

Holy Prepuce - Wikipedia

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Jon Wood
@jon@activitypub.blankpad.net replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey I thought that and then I played Great Circle, which is easily the best Indiana Jones film since Last Crusade, despite being a game.

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One Tired Dad 🤦‍♂️👶🤦‍♀️
@Esoteria@social.horrorhub.club replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Every man in a small church in Ecuador starts spontaneously bleeding from their foreskin. Catholic Church sends in investigators to determine if it’s a real prepucemata only to find it’s demonic.

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Guill.Jones, Honorary Canadian
@Guillotine_Jones@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey
Holy Prepuce!
That's MY new catchphrase, Ben.

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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

Indiana Jones and the Foreskin of the Christ Child

Our titular hero must defeat the fanatical followers of the cult of Elon Musk in a race against time to rescue Jesus' wang-tip from falling into the wrong hands and unleashing the lords holy penis power.

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Morten Grøftehauge
@drgroftehauge@sigmoid.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey A must have is a scene where Indiana Jones hides the magic foreskin in his mouth. Inspired by real relic thieves.
But what would the magic power of this artifact be? The grail let you live forever and the covenant melted people (and we are apparently just ignoring all those other grails that were obviously also highly magical, just in another direction).

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Morten Grøftehauge
@drgroftehauge@sigmoid.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey I think they've missed a beat by not having Indiana stealing relics in the Korean war. He could be fighting the Chinese, I guess.

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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@drgroftehauge

They could make it more contemporary I suppose. Get the main protagonist army - instead of the Nazis or the KGB...... to be Redditors.

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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@drgroftehauge

Most powerful erection of all time

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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@drgroftehauge

Like diamond. And it shoots a laser beam. That delivers... I don't want to say an explosive orgasm because I think that's just too easy. Or instant death. Maybe it washes away all of the sin. Pow! Sin free, baby!

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elhadjimurad
@ElHadjiMurad@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey @drgroftehauge Plus 10% off communion wafers for life?

Edit: 90% off first thing in the morning.

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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

Snakes?! Why did it have to be snakes?! That's not a snake Indy......

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Tim Hergert
@cjust@infosec.exchange replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey say what you will about the creativity of this plot line - but if the franchise goes in this direction it'll be a dick move.

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Guill.Jones, Honorary Canadian
@Guillotine_Jones@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey
I'm on the edge of my seat, Ben, wondering how the Antichrist fits in to this script.

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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@Guillotine_Jones

Penis battle (respectful 🙏)

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1 tripod in 3 trenchcoats
@kyonshi@dice.camp replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey is this actually something happening right now or some outre plot idea you have? I can't tell anymore.

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Eldritch Carrot(Ben)
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 8 hours ago

@kyonshi

In one of the infinite realities it is screening right now. It's the surprise smash hit of the year, revitalising the cinema industry. People cannot get enough of the holy peen. Harrison Ford is saying its the most meaningful project he's ever worked on. Loads of people are getting circumcised out of respect.

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internetsdairy
@internetsdairy@mastodon.art replied  ·  activity timestamp 9 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey little baby jesus is really judging us from that painting, isn't he?

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Ainsley Lowbeer
@AinsleyLowbeer@mastodon.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 9 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey

This has the power to defeat entire armies.

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