Tried to do a lighthearted news morning then immediately got extremely sad. Do not read the news, people. No good can come of it. Something you don't see in the news is that somewhere on this crazy old rock, a load of people woke up full of peace and hope. Didn't have to face a bunch of horrors, yawned and stretched and made coffee and greeted the morning sun with a nice breakfast, and saw their loved ones and listened to music and were bathed in morning sunlight or listened warmly in thick jumpers to the calming rhythmic sound of rain against their window as they contemplated their day. Life is fucking delightful. Let that be in the news. News alert - some people fulfilled. Some people woke up, made love to their significant other, ate some sausages then went back to bed and read all day. Some people took a walk in the crisp autumnal morning light. Stick that in your pipe journo's.
Discussion
Loading...
Post
@TheBreadmonkey my news is that I’ve just woken up and read this thread and while it’s fresh for me my contribution is in danger of being old news. The headlines:
We get our bloobs from JA, the argicultural collective-farmer’s market. They taste good, we add them to plain yoghurt. People say they’re good for your eyes. Freeze them as the season comes to an end. Don’t bother to unfreeze them. They’re like tiny ice ball treats.
Our tea pot has a blend of Earl grey, Kenyan and Lapsan Suchon (sp?) leaves and a single Yorkshire Tea bag. Cover pot with 2012 Team GB Olympics cosy. Steep for three minutes. Milk first.
And so to breakfast. Take care.
@TheBreadmonkey I no longer news and I stop following people who news too much. I go and sit in our garden with a cup of tea and spy on the neighbourhood cats instead. Plus, I have taken to reading books again, writing in notebooks and generally avoiding everything. Have made this my only social media now as well.
@TheBreadmonkey
I'm in Aarhus, Denmark, for work and all morning I admired the sunshine in the reading niche of my beautiful appartment. I listened to excellent music while doing so, danced a bit, had great coffee from down the street and had the best time looking forward to the rest of the day. All before work!
Make that the news.
Really loved your post, Ben!
@TheBreadmonkey this thread is glorious. #thenewsatBen
@twoowls73 @TheBreadmonkey
Two new chickens had porridge for the first time today. They loved it
#TheNewsAtBen
@twoowls73 @TheBreadmonkey In further news, I drove my school bus this morning, picking up the children, getting them there safely, returning to the depot, and then drove my car home without mishap. No animals were harmed in the making of this post.
@TheBreadmonkey in my #thenewsatBen today: Dog has best day ever, again! Sun shines and creates lovely sparkles through morning dew. Slippers toasty, and not overly chewed by dog.
@ravensrod @TheBreadmonkey @HeatherMJ
Depends who makes it. I know people (I use the term loosely) who call hot water with milk a cup of tea.
@Fragarach @ravensrod @TheBreadmonkey @HeatherMJ I'm ashamed to admit this, and I hope you're all the kind of people who wouldn't judge someone for the sins of their parents.
My parents make tea with a single bag. My Dad has a normal tea, then they uses the same bag for my Mum's. We call hers homeopathic tea.
@Fragarach @ravensrod @TheBreadmonkey @HeatherMJ
My grandmother used to drink what she called ‘pearl tea’. It was hot water with a little splash of milk and a tiny bit of sugar. Zero tea involved. Lighter even than the top left example.
@Fragarach @ravensrod @TheBreadmonkey @HeatherMJ
I'm in the "If you're going to adulterate tea with milk you deserve whatever cheap teabag you get" camp.
@Fragarach @ravensrod @TheBreadmonkey @HeatherMJ “Tannin Salon” is also “ADHD Tea” as in “forgot I had a cup steeping”
@Fragarach @ravensrod @TheBreadmonkey @HeatherMJ I think I sit somewhere between Werther's Original and He-Man and that's my happy tea place
#tea
@TheBreadmonkey I want the job of writing a column in the back discussing home-made jam recipes.
I must have a go. I remember my mum making a bunch of strawberry jam and I've always thought that it's basically just fruit and pectin and time? But I've never actually tried.
@TheBreadmonkey @TazPoltorak It's a shame it's not online anymore but I heard a thing years ago of Timmy Mallett messing about with a jam making machine that I think was his mum's.
@TheBreadmonkey making jam can be so easy! Not long ago I got 1.5 kg of plums, added 1 kg of sugar, waited for the juice to appear, then heated the pan to simmer for 5 minutes and let it cool down. I repeated this 3 or 4 times (you can leave it on the stove all day to cool), and now I have the most amazing plum jam. Been enjoying it myself and sharing with my neighbours, who also approve.
@TheBreadmonkey I sometimes think about how The News is an abusive partner, and how the industry is so entrenched, and so wealthy that we've normalised opening a firehose of misery into our faces every day.
They know that positive news doesn't sell, so they'll drop the ocasional 'nice' story in for some kind of balance, but 95% of what they deliver is horror beyond our comprehension. And we flock to it because otherwise we'll be uninformed in the eyes of our peers.
But, like, it ain't normal. At least, the sheer volume of it we have these days. Go back 500 years, and The News was what was happening in the handful of villages and towns around yours. Now it's war, and famine, and violence from across the globe, all the time.
So yeah, I tend to actively avoid the news these days. It's not worth the headache.
@DJDarren @TheBreadmonkey ironically I read this toot while the chorus "bad news" by Rilo Kiley was playing on the radio, and my wife has just had some bad news.
Think I'll skip the actual news today.
@DJDarren @TheBreadmonkey Years ago, if I read the news at all it was things like the Quirky section on Ananova. I knew pretty much nothing about politics or anything important but could tell you there was a woman in Africa somewhere who started to just eat ice. I kind of wish I could go back to being oblivious about stuff but I can't.
I revealed today that I call blueberries 'bloobs'. That's the only real news you need.
@TheBreadmonkey I will now subscribe exclusively to The Ben. £1m pounds a month is the cost, I assume?
You know it, baby!
I avoid looking at the news where at all possible, as it's ultimately not helpful for my mental health.
In the "olden days" of watching the news at least you got a story about puppies dressed as bumblebees or whatever as a palate cleanser at the end, but today glancing at the news is just relentless bleakness with the very worst people getting ahead for doing terrible things.
Anyway, good morning, Ben. I hope your week is filled with puppies, delight and general prosperity.
Likewise 👊✊👍🫵🤟🫰🤌✌️🙌🫶
@purplepadma @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey @Shivviness I had toast for breakfast, using the last of the bread, and as a bet with myself I started a new loaf in the breadmaker in less time than the toaster took to pop. Homemade spicy apple jam too.
I pickled some beetroot, and whizzed down to the pub for a couple of pints. They’re putting the shutters on the Pentre Arms’ windows, high tide’s looking exciting.
@miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey Met a friend and had a nice lunch #TheNewsAtBen
@TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen
Enough of this slipper nonsense. Thermal socks with tog ratings is where it's at.
@davidbcohen @TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen I bought my slippers from M&Shops because I'm a posh git. #SlipperChat
@DJDarren I have just yesterday purchased an entire jar of their cherry jam for a brownie experiment, so as not to deprive myself of any of my jar of cherry jam for toast and sandwiches. However, you need the raspberry jam for adding to a cheese sandwich.
@miffyhelen @purplepadma @TheBreadmonkey @Shivviness How come blueberries weren’t a thing here before 2000? When I first encountered them as a kid in the US I thought they were a made up thing. Was very suspicious.
@TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen Americans cannot do slippers. They just don’t get them, and look at the price of the stuff in that list!
Slippers should be bought local, in person - preferably down the market, though TK Maxx, Matalan or George at Asda are acceptable substitutions.
@patrickhadfield @purplepadma @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey
I'm increasingly finding fruit and vegetables from the supermarket in the UK utterly tasteless. They look fine, however, upon tasting them they're flavourless.
@TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen @purplepadma @Shivviness Look! On my shopping list, bloobs 😄
@miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey #GoodNews is already in use for big but under reported news stories - how about #RealGoodNews or something similar?
@purplepadma @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey @Shivviness I'm not into blueberries - I generally find them tasteless and pointless - but staying with friends in New York last year had some. And they were delicious - full of flavour. Completely different to there things I had tried from the supermarket in UK. Which I subsequently tried again, and was very disappointed!
@spiegelmama @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey open your newspapers and turn to #TheBeigePage
@afewbugs @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey I propose #MorningNewsBreak - it doesn't seem to be commonly used, and it would remind us to post our breakfast if we couldn't think of something else good.
@miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey In astounding scenes that would appear unbelievable has they not been witnessed by our own correspondent, local woman gives cat his morning medication which he accepts quite happily because he knows he gets a nice snack afterwards
@purplepadma @TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen @Shivviness
When we found out Mrs H was pregnant, it was when daughter was the size of a blueberry. We occasionally still call her little bloobz to this day, over a decade later.
@purplepadma @DJDarren @Shivviness @miffyhelen
I did not know this existed!
@DJDarren @Shivviness @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey 3 years ago my lovely daughter bought me the Bonne Maman advent calendar. Pure joy
@miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey @Shivviness They’re odd berries. Tom used to say they “taste of nothing” but he’s got more into them in recent years
@TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen @Shivviness PurplePadma Delight 🥰
@Shivviness Ah, a felllow Bonne Maman enjoyer, and massive bourgoisie scum. I like the black cherry. It's much, much nicer than even Asda's Extra Special black cherry jam. @purplepadma @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey
@TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen @Shivviness Show us yer bloobs, love
@TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen @Shivviness Show us yer bloobs, love
@TheBreadmonkey @miffyhelen
Hmm. I rather fancy some of these
https://joestoes.co.uk/collections/knit-kits
@purplepadma @miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey
I like a generous spoonful of Bonne Maman blueberry jam in my porridge with blueberries.
@miffyhelen @purplepadma @Shivviness
I call them bloobs and my wife hates it
@purplepadma @miffyhelen @Shivviness
I feel like porridge with blueberries should have its own title. Purple delight?
@purplepadma @TheBreadmonkey @Shivviness I had never eaten a blueberry in my life until earlier this year when I saw how obsessed my 1 year old niece was with them. They were like crack to her! Now I add them to my yoghurt to remind me of her.
@miffyhelen @TheBreadmonkey @Shivviness Morning all. I made porridge with blueberries, how’s that for good news?
