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@sbarolo@zirk.us · 3 years ago

#1: The Life Coach
I would have shouted "NO" and kicked his butt!
It's easy!
Dress more like a scientist & men won't be tempted
Now you know that was a bad mentor/lab/dept.
What a great learning experience for you
Choose your battles. Tough it out, focus on the science and you'll be fine
Why didn't you speak out at the time?
You go girl! The future is female! Good luck with that
aka Victim Blaming; Free Advice; You Got This
Problem: Demands solutions from the victims
Warning: You may also hear this from women
What he should do: Stop replying, start listening
By @sbarolo and @shrewshrew — #1: The Life Coach I would have shouted "NO" and kicked his butt! It's easy! Dress more like a scientist & men won't be tempted Now you know that was a bad mentor/lab/dept. What a great learning experience for you Choose your battles. Tough it out, focus on the science and you'll be fine Why didn't you speak out at the time? You go girl! The future is female! Good luck with that aka Victim Blaming; Free Advice; You Got This Problem: Demands solutions from the victims Warning: You may also hear this from women What he should do: Stop replying, start listening By @sbarolo and @shrewshrew

@sbarolo@zirk.us replied · 3 years ago

#2: The Tone Police

How rude! Now we must postpone all discussion of your experiences until you can make me feel comfortable.
You seem upset. Perhaps you aren't able to handle rational discourse.
If you get angry, they win.
The mouth on you! No wonder u got harassed.
Name calling is hardly productive, madam.
Piling on this guy isn't helpful. I bet he learned his lesson and was probably misunderstood.
Such nasty vitriol! All I did was calmly point out that women are irrational & unfit to do science.
aka Civility Patrol; Oh My Delicate Male Ears
Problem: Male comfort is priority #1
Warning: Will call you a b**** eventually
What he should do: Stop replying, start listening — #2: The Tone Police How rude! Now we must postpone all discussion of your experiences until you can make me feel comfortable. You seem upset. Perhaps you aren't able to handle rational discourse. If you get angry, they win. The mouth on you! No wonder u got harassed. Name calling is hardly productive, madam. Piling on this guy isn't helpful. I bet he learned his lesson and was probably misunderstood. Such nasty vitriol! All I did was calmly point out that women are irrational & unfit to do science. aka Civility Patrol; Oh My Delicate Male Ears Problem: Male comfort is priority #1 Warning: Will call you a b**** eventually What he should do: Stop replying, start listening

@sbarolo@zirk.us replied · 3 years ago

#3: The Gaslighter

Something similar happened to a man once, therefore you didn't experience sexism.
His INTENTIONS were good. It's a compliment.
He never assaulted women in front of me! I need to know the exact context or I'II assume you've blown this out of proportion.
He's just an old-school gentleman from a different culture with a hands-on mentoring style.
Sexism is just an old man problem. When they all retire everything will be better!
If sexism was *that* common I would have noticed.
And by the way, she's no saint either.
aka The Male Interpreter; Manecdotes; Walk It Off.
Problem: It's not that bad. And if it is, you deserve it.
Warning: He's already decided to ignore your response.
What he should do: Stop replying, start listening — #3: The Gaslighter Something similar happened to a man once, therefore you didn't experience sexism. His INTENTIONS were good. It's a compliment. He never assaulted women in front of me! I need to know the exact context or I'II assume you've blown this out of proportion. He's just an old-school gentleman from a different culture with a hands-on mentoring style. Sexism is just an old man problem. When they all retire everything will be better! If sexism was *that* common I would have noticed. And by the way, she's no saint either. aka The Male Interpreter; Manecdotes; Walk It Off. Problem: It's not that bad. And if it is, you deserve it. Warning: He's already decided to ignore your response. What he should do: Stop replying, start listening

@sbarolo@zirk.us replied · 3 years ago

#4: Cookie Manster
I haven't harassed women to my knowledge, where's my lifetime achievement award?
Not all men do bad things! My gf says I'm amazing.
In faculty meeting somebody made a sexist remark & I thought to myself "that is so messed up".
Hey did you see we gave a woman an award? Yeah it feels pretty good to do charity.
Some workplaces have problems with sexism but my mentees and I are BFFs #coolboss
If I am pro-women how could my behavior ever be sexist? CHECKMATE
I am interested in being an ally! Someone give me permission please.
aka #notallmen; | Love Women; Mommy Look!
Problem: It's not about you, buddy
Warning: All talk, no action
What he should do: Stop replying, start listening — #4: Cookie Manster I haven't harassed women to my knowledge, where's my lifetime achievement award? Not all men do bad things! My gf says I'm amazing. In faculty meeting somebody made a sexist remark & I thought to myself "that is so messed up". Hey did you see we gave a woman an award? Yeah it feels pretty good to do charity. Some workplaces have problems with sexism but my mentees and I are BFFs #coolboss If I am pro-women how could my behavior ever be sexist? CHECKMATE I am interested in being an ally! Someone give me permission please. aka #notallmen; | Love Women; Mommy Look! Problem: It's not about you, buddy Warning: All talk, no action What he should do: Stop replying, start listening

@sbarolo@zirk.us replied · 3 years ago

@sbarolo@zirk.us replied · 3 years ago

#5: Himpathy
“...the flow of sympathy away from female victims toward their male victimizers--which I call 'himpathy'." @kate manne, Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny (2017)
Too many profs are being fired due to unsubstantiated rumors with no due process!! No I can't NAME any.
If we start holding men responsible for their actions, where will it end?
She's just claiming harassment to get ahead, and he is suffering for it.
We can't start protecting women until you can prove that nothing bad will ever happen to a man EVER.
I'm afraid to work with women now :(
He is really going through a lot, the rules are changing, it's hard out there.
Censorship! Why can't I say whatever comes into my mind while everyone walks on eggshells around me.
If you keep this up, men will stop hitting on women at work and the human race will go extinct.
aka Witch Hunt, Whatabout, Oh the huMANity.
Problem: Only men are real to him.
Warning: Dangerous when cornered.
What he should do: Stop replying, start listening — #5: Himpathy “...the flow of sympathy away from female victims toward their male victimizers--which I call 'himpathy'." @kate manne, Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny (2017) Too many profs are being fired due to unsubstantiated rumors with no due process!! No I can't NAME any. If we start holding men responsible for their actions, where will it end? She's just claiming harassment to get ahead, and he is suffering for it. We can't start protecting women until you can prove that nothing bad will ever happen to a man EVER. I'm afraid to work with women now :( He is really going through a lot, the rules are changing, it's hard out there. Censorship! Why can't I say whatever comes into my mind while everyone walks on eggshells around me. If you keep this up, men will stop hitting on women at work and the human race will go extinct. aka Witch Hunt, Whatabout, Oh the huMANity. Problem: Only men are real to him. Warning: Dangerous when cornered. What he should do: Stop replying, start listening

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