Translation: Hi there,

It's your good buddies at Optus here.

Your thank you gift is waiting.

No, it's not a Triple Zero emergency service that doesn't go offline when you need an ambulance.

And no, it's not fair compensation for that time we had a nationwide outage and managed to not just take out your phone and internet, but also half of the national economy.

And no, it's not yet another free subscription to that bloody soccer streaming service. We finally took the hint and shut that down.

No, this time an AI subscription service is looking to deceive its investors by pumping up its paid subscriber numbers.

So we took a bucket of money from them in exchange for spamming our customers with a text message.

You know the deal. 12 months free. You won't get charged if you remember to cancel before the deal expires and then make it through all their dark patterns.

We know we can get away with it because we're one third of one of Australia's big corporate oligopolies.

I mean, what are you going to do? Chances are the whole reason you switched to us is because you were pissed off at Telstra.

And your only other choice is TPG/Voda/iiNet/WestNet/Internode/Lebara/TransACT/Crazy John's/Neighbourhood Cable... (it's all one conglomerate with awful mobile coverage now).

#Optus #perplexityassistant #perplexityai #perplexity #ausbiz #AI #enshittification #business #oligopoly