Discussion

actually it's Frankenstein's navigator, Frankenstein was actually the-- #monsterdon

@rey

sometimes you see a thing and say "to think, it was just sitting there, all this time, waiting for someone to see it, to really see it"

This is also why even though theoretically Portland is a good fit for me in many ways, the urban environment is even less stimulating than SF for me. After a few days I just don’t know how to exist there. I get that’s why people like it! It’s very very hard for me, not helped by the lack of sun.

"Something is better than nothing."

This phrase has honestly helped me so much. Truthfully, I've never been a thin person, my body type could be described as Dumpling. Through a whole lot of working on myself, I'm mostly okay with that. I respect the limitations my body has and metabolism I was born with. But after my Mom passed I was definitely doing some cope eating and drinking. My clothes started getting tight, and I was just generally feeling gross, so I knew I needed to do something. In the past, I've usually gone for extremes, I'm going to change everything about myself, I'm gonna eat a really low amount of calories, do this crazy workout plan, you know the drill. Then a few weeks later you realize you're still yourself and then crash, burn, binge, and hate yourself for failing. I wanted to be different this time, I can't change everything overnight, and I don't want to anymore. I like cooking and eating, I want carbs, and chocolate, I hate going to the gym. So, I told myself try one thing, and the first thing was getting more fiber, most people don't get anywhere near enough including me, and that wasn't too hard. I also put no pressure on myself to be perfect about it, because something is better than nothing.

After eating a little better, I came upon a study that basically boiled down to, walking as little as 5 minutes after you eat a meal has a measurable positive effect on your health. And I don't know why, but that clicked with me, maybe I don't start some high intensity workout, end up hurting myself, then spiraling out, maybe I just walk 5 minutes after I eat, So, I did, and 5 minutes quickly turned to many more minutes. After months of being consistent, I was able to do this mountain summit trail, I wouldn't even have tried, in the past, because the hill was too steep, and the air was too thin. It wasn't easy for me, I struggled, I took a lot of breaks, but I did it.

These things culminated into other choices, keeping better track of calories, working on the voice on my head that told me to give up, if I ate more than I intended or yelled at me for having cake, adding in a light weight routine a couple times a week. Listen, I'm not thin, I probably never will be, but my clothes fit better now, and I feel better, I feel stronger physically and mentally, and that's better than nothing.

No, YOU can’t stop listening to K-pop Demon Hunters’ soundtrack!