Does anyone know how to join the Illuminati? I am available if anyone knows any of them. I'm happy to make the teas, am morally flexible and am happy to come up with shadowy plans of global domination.
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@TheBreadmonkey The Illuminati are actually cats
@catsalad @TheBreadmonkey okay, I'll buy a lot of nonsense about cats, but they are definitely not organized enough to run a world-spanning conspiratorial secret society.
And if they *were* I'm pretty sure there would be a lot more fish markets.
@TheBreadmonkey I’m not saying the illuminati are bad, but have you considered the many advantages of joining the Crab People instead? #1) Super tough shells to protect you from hot coffee and mean insults. #2) Discount Fridays…
@TheBreadmonkey
Fediverse do your magic.🧚
I believe it has something to do with burying your $5 application fee in a mason jar in your back yard and waiting for them to contact you.
Source: Robert Anton Wilson
@TheBreadmonkey boosting for visibility, never know illwhominati.
@TheBreadmonkey
On related news. If anyone is thinking of setting up a new Mastodon server,
The domain name
"illuminati.global" is available at only $79 via godaddy.
@TheBreadmonkey
There's something about seeing the fnords, IIRC.
@TheBreadmonkey We don't send invites. When we add you, you'll know.
@TheBreadmonkey Can you polish armor and sharpen swords?
Oh, for God's sakes, be an adult and become a Mason.
They don't take atheists. Yo, Ben! Let's start our own Illuminati, with blackjacks and hookers!
But I don't know anything about stones
@TheBreadmonkey all you have to do is subscribe to their newsletter.
@TheBreadmonkey accidentally, they send me an email just yesterday and it's from joao.freire@rioclaro.sp.gov.br
so probably the brazilian branche, but they'll may know where yours will be at
@TheBreadmonkey First rule of joining illuminati, you don’t talk about joining illuminati. Sorry you’re already disqualified. Better luck next time
@farah @TheBreadmonkey could it be an elaborate double bluff though? Maybe Ben is already a member of the illuminati, and this toot is to throw us off the scent and convince us he isn't?
@farah @TheBreadmonkey could it be an elaborate double bluff though? Maybe Ben is already a member of the illuminati, and this toot is to throw us off the scent and convince us he isn't?
@afewbugs @TheBreadmonkey You might be on to something! That sounds like a very Ben move tbh
@TheBreadmonkey me too