Post by @neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

Sandra bought me something "to exfoliate my pores".

I heard "exfoliate my paws", and, well, I now have very smooth hands.

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@neil Is there an escape claws?

Obviously, details of my full beauty regime are reserved for paying subscribers only.

@neil if you're anything like me, you might find it more lucrative to be paid not to share any kind of even-vaguely-personal grooming details.

@neil OnlyNeils

@neil What did they ever do to you to deserve this?

@xinit Oddly enough, their subscription is the same price as a bar of Dettol soap.