unfortunately i realized this incredibly fun fact amidst a thicket of backdoors but https://github.com/OpenGamingCollective/asusctl/blob/main/MANUAL.md#led-keyboard-control

Led keyboard control

The LED controller (e.g, aura) enables setting many of the factory modes available if a laptop supports them. It also enables per-key RGB settings but this is a WIP and will likely be similar to how AniMe sequences can be created.

i cannot BELIEVE i never realized that if my fucked up gamer laptop can do the built-in tesselating rainbow LED patterns then of COURSE it should be able to do fixed LED colors like a moonlander too!!!!