I often have this feeling that good things won't last and that someone will soon do or say something terrible to me... Or take it all away from me. Or blame me for even trying. Or give me shit about the choices I've made.

I still often feel that I don't deserve happiness or anything good in this world. It might be due to trauma, anxiety, or past depression (I believe nobody ever truly heals those wounds, but instead learns to live with them in "remission").

I hope things last this time. I know these are just late-night thoughts in a heightened emotional state and not necessarily true.

PS. Postdrome is the worst.