Discussion
I bought a new mop, it is a SPINNY mop, or rather it has a SPINNY bucket, there's a treadle on it like your nan's sewing machine and you SPINNY the mop to dry it out
The actual SPINNY bit works surprisingly well but I have a bone to pick with the marketing department who showed me a video of a happy man spinning his happy SPINNY mop and the man was smiling instead of going OW MY BACK because he had to BEND OVER because this mop is SHORT, it's the SHORT MOP AGAIN except this time with LIES
LONG MOPS for GANGLY MEN are indeed a thing that exists because caretakers, they're made out of stronger stuff, there's wooden handles connected to fibre via steel so you can bicep your morque into the grime and fuck it properly without snapping the damn thing in half, but they're sold with certain Assumptions, they're COMMERCIAL mops, their wringing is all in the bucket mechanism, the bucket will have castors and be huge and heavy and ugly, you will keep it in the caretaker's special cupboard, you will move it between floors in a lift rather than trying to huff it up the stairs, you will not fill it with a kitchen tap, these devices have no business being in a domestic setting
I simply wish for an extra 20cm of length and for reinforcement on the interface between rod and head, this is not very much to ask
Americans don't say "caretaker" they say "janitor" except they don't anymore, they say "custodian" now as a euphemism for "janitor," they should say "caretaker" instead because it's a more beautiful and descriptive word for the people who take care of places and by extension the people who spend time in those places
I want a caretaker-length, caretaker-strength mop with the spinny gimmick in a bucket that isn't bright yellow with the comedy banana-peel-slip picture please
So a wooden handle, metal parts, with removable, washable mop head, of the variety all of us janitors* are familiar with (head made from loops of cotton rope, lasts forever). You'd have to change the way the mop head attaches to the handle (compared to the standard design) to allow for spinning the head inside the handle-cone thingy, but I can already imagine a pretty simple design. And make the (manly) bucket a separate item, so those of us who already have more buckets than space to put them in can also benefit from this excellent idea.
Again, I smell business opportunity. Maybe if we call it an AI Mop some techbro VC will fund a startup...
*"Caretaker" already has a distinct meaning in American English (think home health aide), and "custodian" only applies to janitors working in the K-12 school system, in my book. You do you, though.
@GuerillaOntologist @ifixcoinops
I (USian) generally think of a caretaker as someone who cares for the grounds and caregiver as someone who cares for humans who need extra care.
I can't believe I watched a video that showed a male-presenting person mopping the floor and thought "Oh cool, this mop must have been designed for people who are a little bit taller and tend to rely more on their upper body strength to accomplish everyday tasks, which means this mop will be longer than average and intended to be pushed hard into the floor!" instead of "This company wants to sell shitty short mops to blokes as well, I am a sucker, I am born every minute, there will be a thousand more like me today"
I will put up with any amount of fragile-masculinity marketing gimmicks in exchange for a mop that's just a little bit longer and a little bit stronger. Bring on the camouflage wrap and the tactical torch holder, whatever, so long as you stick another three or four inches on the length I'll lean into the cringe and buy the fucker. GOPS: Mops for Guys™ with a fucking beard brush on the top so you can brush your beard while you gop
@ifixcoinops I smell business opportunity for a universal handle extender. I bet there would be a big market for such a thing among those with your unfortunate condition (speaking as someone who's mopped a lot of floors and never once thought "why is this handle so short?").
@ifixcoinops can the handle be removed and replaced with a longer pole acquired in some raccoonish fashion?
@zwol Nah, there's a threaded plastic bit on the end and if I swapped out the pole then I'd be left with those plastic threads being the weak point
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