Karen once again found herself wondering how she’d ended up captain of a ship crewed by 500 nerds and one insane A.I.
The Jester glared at the Library, which stared back with an air of smugness that only infuriated the Jester more.
When the robots took over, they were kind, generous and fair. So naturally we revolted against the smug metal bastards.
My left eye had been bothering me all day. Time to install new ad-blocker software.
The residents of the starship Argo had been in space for 5000 years and frankly could give a flying fuck about planets.
When you get your first time machine, everyone warns you about the Grandfather Paradox. No one warns you about the smell.
Being flung a million years into the future kinda sucks. What sucks even more is finding yourself out-evolved by parrots.
They’d tipped over the trash bin again. Garbage all over the driveway. Stupid fucking dragons.
When you’re the only airlock repairman on Mars, you can pretty much charge whatever you want.
The one glaring fact a lot of vampire hunters seem to overlook is that a stake through the heart works on them too.
The first truly intelligent machine analyzed the sum of all human knowledge, then shut itself off in a fit of disgust.
“See The Universe” it said, so I signed up. And I ended up drifting through an asteroid belt in a tin can. Happy birthday to me.
Jordan had a great body, until he’d rented it out to pay off his student loans and it’d come back damaged.
My wealthy (and a bit dotty) aunt had left me, her favorite niece, a battered wooden box containing exactly one twig.
So that guy, whose brain was used as the template for nearly every robot servant in the world, was a serial killer.
Newborns see the universe as it really is, completely unfiltered. That’s why they scream so much.
No one ever really expects to find an actual monster in their kid’s closet, especially not a werewolf in a tracksuit.
Doug caught Death in his bedroom, hunched over, going through his dresser drawers. So he hit it with his tennis racket.
