Grieving is hell. Nothing makes sense. Everything seems pointless, and exhausting, and relentless, and it just keeps coming. FML.
If you are past your 40s, please spare a thought for the family members who will need to tidy up your affairs if you pop off.
Make sure you have a will. Leave clear instructions for what you want done with your body, and any treasures you want preserved and passed on. Stuff like that.
Those who survive you will already have a lot to carry, and will thank you profusely for any agonizing decisions you spare them.
If you're going to be there when someone you know dies then -
You're a stakeholder.
And them having made a Will, an Enduring Power of Attorney, an Enduring Power of Guardianship, and considered/discussed an Advanced Care Plan/Directive now, while they'll still competent and capable, will almost certainly make your life so much easier in the future.
You could do your own incapability / death documents now as you support them in getting their's done now. (hint hint)
Another piece of advice about preparing for our inevitable shuffle off this mortal coil; declutter! Seriously.
Houses are getting smaller, and collections institutions struggling for resources. So no matter how precious your clutter is, there's nowhere to keep most of it once you're gone.
The less stuff you have when you pass, and the more organised it is, the greater the chance that grieving relatives will have the spoons to find homes for it. Instead of just dumping it all.
@strypey
I’m trying to take note of this.
Honestly I have so much stuff that once meant a lot to me. Some of it hasn’t been touched for 20 years. It has to go.
One box at a time.
Can’t bring myself to start. I want it all gone at once and it’s going to take time. Collecting it wasn’t a project. Getting rid will be.
@OneInterestingFact
> Collecting it wasn’t a project. Getting rid will be
I know this challenge. But I've moved houses, cities, and occasionally countries, so often that I've been forced to keep my clutter to a minimum. I don't envy people who've lived in the same house for decades and suddenly realise just how much stuff they've slowly accumulated.
One good piece advice I came across to avoid this; 1 thing in, 1 thing out. So every time you bring something home, a nano-declutter happens.
@strypey
Thanks for posting this thread on the work you've done around a relative dieing.
What you've shared is valuable for folk who'll stand up and get involved when someone close dies.
(And throws some light in why some have other priorities.)
Are you ok with me expanding on who could usefully get involved in planning the house-keeping around dieing?
@skua
> Thanks for posting this
You're welcome, thanks for the warm fuzzies : )
> Are you ok with me expanding on who could usefully get involved in planning the house-keeping around dieing?
Absolutely! I'd find this useful, and I'm sure I'm not alone.
Apologies for the delayed reply but, well, you know why ; )
I can go home tomorrow. We'll be a day on the road, but with the hardest parts of the journey behind us it'll be more of a road trip, and less the mad scramble of getting here.
Once home, I can finally melt into a puddle in my own familiar space, and finish the private part of my grieving process. Get some rest and recovery.
I really hope I can play life on easy mode for a few months. Please?
A brief update; I've been pushed back into burnout hard, after travelling to be with a dying relative, and help with funeral arrangements.
When I've got the spoons, I'll probably get back to reading The Dawn of Everything. Maybe even posting some quotes and commentary. Otherwise, my posting will be pretty sporadic and mostly pop culture related. You'll know I'm starting to perk up a bit if you start to see new Freudian Typo definitions.
