so basically since employment isnt really an option (short of some miraculous "i got u" nepotism hookup appearing) it seems like my (near) future (and beyond) plans necessitate me making and selling things, which i really like the idea of (in theory) and have always known was probably going to be the only option (for "how do i get the resources and environment in which to live"). i have some personal issues with it, but whatever, irrelevant.
but its terrifying. i am a scared cat.
soon the journey must start and i will have to do all that and if it doesnt work then... sucks to suck i guess lol

()