A kind person said to me this week words to the effect of "Neil, I love talking with you. You make chatting so easy!"
And now, dear reader, I - someone who is not a very people person - will share with you the two secrets of my critically acclaimed prowess:
1) "Oh {wow,cool,my,yes,no,oops,dear}, tell me more about that!"
2) Listening - genuinely listening - and asking questions.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
@neil and if somebody gets upset about something, introduce this variation:
"I don't know about that, but it seems to really upset you. Why is that?" Followed by genuine listening.
@neil It's true. It works great. Trying it and mostly failing at it always shows me how egoistic I am. (See, already talking about myself again.)
But whenever I'm a bit frustrated with a conversation because I can't express the entirety of my thoughts before the other person interrupts me, I think: Even if the conversation isn't balanced, let them have it. We're still communicating and advancing our thoughts. And they deserve to have the conversation they want or need, too.
@neil I would suggest that this is also good advice for any aspiring lawyer.
I reckon that this probably also works well as dating advice.
@neil Oh, wow, tell me more about that!
Install bonfire.cafe
Get the full app experience
