increasingly i feel like i am trying to exist in a fragile little crust of land wherein beauty and human vitality are allowed to exist and everyone around me is addicted to a strange new drug whose primary effect is the feeling of becoming a god who no longer needs the noise and input of inferior mortal creatures and spends their time wandering the thicket of rakes that spring up and smack them in the face when walked over begging them to come back to earth, but the real addictive quality of this drug is that it's always possible to look downwards and inflate an entirely new pocket of reality right beneath where you're standing where you have never been smacked in the face with a rake before and all your friends and loved ones are just out of sight and the precarious place you have driven yourself to is one of genius and majesty instead of a kind of inexpressable, desperate emptiness.