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#ScribesAndMakers 19 May: You get locked in Ikea for a week. What will you build?
A MODEL OF THE GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA MADE OUT OF SWEDISH MEATBALLS
A pyramid of all the meatballs in the store, with a core of lingonberry jam so that when they try to dismantle the reeking pile of unrefrigerated meat a week later it bleeds all over the floor as it collapses.
@cstross First off, what the eff am I doing in an Ikea? #backstory
@cstross I like the way you think!
@cstross Immanentizing the Eschätön. The hellish Stross Ritual summons an army of pieces of living flatpack furniture from the Warehouse Dimension to eradicate mankind. The last survivor of the build-it-yourself apocalypse manages to hold off a band of ravening Billy bookshelves for more than three days with nothing but a pair of tiny Allen wrenches, before succumbing to the assault of three metric tons of possessed kitchenwares.
@cstross
Have you been smoking @Menhit's "special" catnip again?
@cstross There's another Laundry file writhing to be free, isn't there?
@cstross Top plan. Or the lingon could be lava from a meatball volcano?
@cstross This is the kind of unhinged energy that this prompt demanded.
An aircorridor to Gaza sending them all the eatables in the store and send the invoice to the IKEA owner...
@cstross Honestly, if I had enough books with me, I’d probably just enjoy the vacation. 😂
@Heartofcoyote @cstross I once checked and the books in the display areas were actual Swedish books (this was pre-"AI") although there were so many copies of the same titles, Ikea might be performing the same role for the Swedish fiction publishing industry that Scientologists do for the Dianetics publishing industry.
@oddhack @Heartofcoyote Most likely remaindered stock …
@cstross @Heartofcoyote front covers were still on but I don't know if removing those is a Former US-only thing.
@cstross Congratulations. You've just invented the Köttbullar-Tzompantli
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