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@woozle I was reminded of this half-remembered Dave Barry quote and then spent an embarrassing amount of time tracking it down:

"For example, French persons believe that potatoes are feminine, even though they (potatoes) do not have sexual organs, that I have noticed. Dogs, on the other hand, are masculine, even if they are not. (This does not mean, by the way, that a dog can have sex with a potato, although it will probably try.)"