@catsalad I contributed to the company vision (I installed light fixtures)

@catsalad Hopefully not.

@catsalad Nope. Still waiting for my custom CEO Executive Guillotine to arrive. 😉

@catsalad give a hoot 4 shareholder value

@catsalad no. we did the opposite of that. we put a hex on the billionaires.

@catsalad Heck no

@catsalad :3

@catsalad Doubtful, but possible.

@catsalad I reduced pollution and decreased acquisition of newly manufactured goods, making a tiny, but delicious ding in any of countless oligarchs. FUCK YEAH!

@catsalad no! I’m on vacation!

@catsalad Despite my best intentions, I probably did

yes I did. I work in retail....

@catsalad We're fully onboard to determine if there's any there there.

@catsalad LMAO i am sorry Mother I haven't

@catsalad I have not, I did not yesterday and I shall not tomorrow, God willing.

@catsalad

@catsalad

<grabs a large pair of fabric shears>

i have increased shear-holder value...

@catsalad no. I am not sorry. It will happen again :3

@catsalad god I hope not

@catsalad

Yes. I cancelled a meeting.

@catsalad I value shared holdings - does that count?

@catsalad No. But at one point I was simultaneously in a Teams seminar, and a web stream of an internal all-hands session, while watching the snowboarding on mute, while replying to emails. Oh, while drinking coffee.

Stick that up your dividend, shareholders.

@catsalad Yes. For clever but ultimately erroneous measures of value.

@catsalad@infosec.exchange cutely casts a shareholder to an int and increments them, turning them into a glitched entity

@catsalad yes (begrudgingly)

@catsalad
I've shared increaseholder value, does that count?

@catsalad Yeah, i boosted the profits of a Sushi restaurant chain by eating 18 pieces of nigiri.

@catsalad i increased the gdp if that counts

@catsalad if anything, the opposite.