Complete the rest of the sentence:
We value your privacy ____
Discussion
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@catsalad “as a means to sell you further ‘privacy’ features. What? Yes, we mean enshitification.”
@catsalad
We value your privacy, haha just kidding.
@catsalad We value your privacy so we promise not to share your intimate conversations with anyone other than 947 of our closest advertising partners, their partnered data brokers, and also law enforcement.
…for the next fifteen seconds. That’s our ironclad promise.
@catsalad down to the cent. After all, selling your private data is our main business
@catsalad enough to sell it to ICE
@catsalad , had you going there, didn’t I.
...only after being sued until our eyes bleed.
@catsalad together with 1287 partners
@catsalad at $200 per month. If you'd like it back, sign here.
"… and that's why we're offering you these exclusive privacy-enhancing armpit patches for only $17.99
Just fill out the form with:
Your full name
Home address
Work address
Delivery address
Phone
Mobile
Fax
Home email
Work email
The other email you use on dating sites
All your pets' names
Three previous addresses
Driver licence
Height
Weight
Date of Birth
Any other personal information which a reasonable person in this position might reasonably expect to be supplied to help us understand more about you.
@catsalad "And we are deeply concerned about any possible unauthorized access to our systems..."
(All complete bull💩.)
We value your privacy; “jk!!!”
- "at 0,000015768 after auctioning it on the adtech markets."
- "which is what our lawyers and marketing specialists make us say."
- "more than the fine we'll maybe get once we definitely inevitably leak your data."
- "but our Ai doesn't"
A different amount each day, but generally declining over time.
Referring to those companies that start out all privacy aware and get corrupted until they are that Cambridge Analytica company.
@catsalad ", so we've provided you with free 48 hours of credit monitoring after your sensitive personal data was breached."
@catsalad …and will add it to our own.
"We value your privacy carefully so we can extract the maximum profit from selling it out"
@catsalad ...which is why we want all your private things!
@catsalad - so we sell your data to the lowest bidders.
@catsalad `, us and the 1230 sub-processors of our corporate polycule`
@catsalad on days that are not Opposite Day.
@catsalad because selling it to highest bidder makes us rich
@catsalad "...at $2.11."
@catsalad as a key revenue stream
@catsalad __maybe later
@catsalad We value your privacy _lol_
@catsalad
Pkease turn off your adblocker so we can value it more
...so we're taking it
@catsalad -- seriously, we can really monetize it!
@catsalad
...(huh, *not*).
... like we value the fairy queen.
@catsalad “Skinchies, no returns.”
@catsalad much less than we value money
@catsalad But actually we don't and we're just pretending.
@catsalad ... , and invite you to download our app to see your current privacy value.
I know this one! The missing word is:
<snigger>
@catsalad … together with our 1000 carefully selected partners
We value your privacy to the minimum standards required by law
@catsalad but will still be creepy fuckers and selling to anyone and everyone.
@catsalad as do our ten thousand advertising partners
Is this the infosec "I'm not racist but..."
@catsalad We value your privacy breach