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Ben
Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

Watching a young chef on Saturday Kitchen talk about how his career and success is largely through coming up on social media and how important it is to manage and maintain it as part of the business model. How he put it - Socials is currency. So I already post incessantly because I can't help it or as I'm now saying - because it's part of my business model. So how do I monetise this? Please. Won't anyone pay me for my very great musings. In olden times I'd be in a toga and people would be making statues of me and calling me a great philosopher. But no, nowadays it's all 'what are you talking about' and 'you're clearly unwell' and 'Ben for the love of god will you get off your fucking phone'.

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Edelruth In The Wrong Timeline
Edelruth In The Wrong Timeline
@Edelruth@mastodon.online replied  ·  activity timestamp 6 minutes ago

@TheBreadmonkey

Why is that last sentence in my mother's voice?

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Dolls Against Gravity
Dolls Against Gravity
@ilookloud@retro.pizza replied  ·  activity timestamp 2 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey you need to start posting ads for nike dupes off temu in between your musings

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Ben
Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 1 hour ago

@ilookloud

I would rather die 😂

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Dolls Against Gravity
Dolls Against Gravity
@ilookloud@retro.pizza replied  ·  activity timestamp 1 hour ago

@TheBreadmonkey THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEN

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Extreme Electronics
Extreme Electronics
@Extelec@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey see what you need to do is to run some ideas up the flagpole, grab all of the low haning fruit, apply the modern modal language, proactively interact with your critical media, analyse your penetration of the demographic, and if that doest work on the first try, circle back.

If your stuck ping me a dm and I can post you some personal action points, for interactive growth marketing deliverables :)

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Ben
Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@Extelec

The incomparable Bob Mortimer as his business persona Train Guy. Here we see a closeup of a smiling older chap with a charming face and some stubble atop, as is below. He's sat on a train talking about kicking the goose upstairs into the business sky to see if it's feathers shake loose any success nuggets or something.
The incomparable Bob Mortimer as his business persona Train Guy. Here we see a closeup of a smiling older chap with a charming face and some stubble atop, as is below. He's sat on a train talking about kicking the goose upstairs into the business sky to see if it's feathers shake loose any success nuggets or something.
The incomparable Bob Mortimer as his business persona Train Guy. Here we see a closeup of a smiling older chap with a charming face and some stubble atop, as is below. He's sat on a train talking about kicking the goose upstairs into the business sky to see if it's feathers shake loose any success nuggets or something.
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Extreme Electronics
Extreme Electronics
@Extelec@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey I'm honoured by the comparison :)

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Ben
Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@Extelec

Have a campachoochoo on me

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✨
✨
@plantfeest@mastodon.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey @Extelec

🥃🍸🚂

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Gogs
Gogs
@Gogs@mas.to replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Benergy drinks

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Ben
Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@Gogs

This sounds like a terrible idea ending in a class action lawsuit

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Gogs
Gogs
@Gogs@mas.to replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Nah, easy money - just rebadge some Irn-Brus and punt them to the energy-gel chumps at the Parkrun.

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Ben
Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@Gogs

I've already started to get the smear campaign together to target them. It's not quite there yet, but involves me calling them 'energy *smells* morelike' and then looking smug.

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Gogs
Gogs
@Gogs@mas.to replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Can’t see them recovering from that one. Not without some form of expensive stimulant.

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David Cohen
David Cohen
@davidbcohen@twit.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey You want to be a TV chef? Weird flex - doubt you’ll earn a million pounds that way.

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Scary Austin VOTED 4 HARRIS!
Scary Austin VOTED 4 HARRIS!
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey
Animals have been doing social media for ages by peeing on things. You could threaten to mark your territory that way instead.

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Ben
Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@MaryAustinBooks

I am the written equivalent of this

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✨
✨
@plantfeest@mastodon.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey @MaryAustinBooks Me too, I feel seen tysm 🥺🥹

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Scary Austin VOTED 4 HARRIS!
Scary Austin VOTED 4 HARRIS!
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey

I'm over here like:

Picture of a purple swamp hen on a poster in a wildlife park
Text reads "HELLO My name is Chips and I am a purple swamp hen. My favourite pass time is to sit in unusual places and scream at people. Don't mind me I'm not injured and I'm perfectly healthy. I just like the extra attention. Thank you and please stay on the path."
Picture of a purple swamp hen on a poster in a wildlife park Text reads "HELLO My name is Chips and I am a purple swamp hen. My favourite pass time is to sit in unusual places and scream at people. Don't mind me I'm not injured and I'm perfectly healthy. I just like the extra attention. Thank you and please stay on the path."
Picture of a purple swamp hen on a poster in a wildlife park Text reads "HELLO My name is Chips and I am a purple swamp hen. My favourite pass time is to sit in unusual places and scream at people. Don't mind me I'm not injured and I'm perfectly healthy. I just like the extra attention. Thank you and please stay on the path."
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chestas
chestas
@chestas@aus.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey

My posts indicate how desperate I am to retire

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JackTheRebelCat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇵🇸 🇺🇦
JackTheRebelCat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇵🇸 🇺🇦
@JackTheCat@mastodon.scot replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Get In The Toga Cannon!

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