@Lunaphied ok i think i can resolve the difficulty with unreliable transport now that you've pointed me to MPLS. the goal is to stop an active adversary from being able to reliably replay any atomic packet. my concern was that if the adversary induces enough noise, i can't get a packet over the first hop (or next, etc), and i can't determine any way around that but to replay.
the solution here is to recognize that if a hop states that a packet was dropped, it will (for reasons) have a sequence number assigned to it. that sequence number will be unique for each hop in the path, and only the final destination will know the "true" sequence number. the original source maintains a mapping of each per-hop sequence number translation, and upon a dropped notification will simply generate a new sequence number for the hop that dropped it, and reschedule the packet within the sequence to send (the "sequence" being some arbitrary set of chunks of the overall message).
it is understood when a drop is identified that the prior sequence number will be immediately invalidated. perhaps this requires a separate drop epoch per hop.
this notification mechanism (there's actually no "dropped" notif but rather a "hop" notif and a "dropped" query) is when in-order reliable delivery is necessary and intermediate nodes can't be allowed to introduce replay or other attacks (this is the guarantee the signal server provides for example)
this does lose one very nice quality: the intended recipient can now introduce replay attacks. but the hop protocol would clearly indicate this was occurring