@TheBreadmonkey The metric system.

LOL

Just kidding.

@TheBreadmonkey

How to:

1. orient yourself by the sun in daytime, and by the stars at night.

2. walk through a wood at night without artificial light.

3. navigate a strange city without a guide.

4. divide an arbitrary number by another.

5. judge whether food is safe to eat.

6. diagnose AND FIX a fault with a motor car, at the roadside in the rain.

7. cook a meal from raw ingredients.

8. estimate quantities of common substances.

9. be alone, without entertainment, and not be bored.

@TheBreadmonkey

1. Never trust a tory
2. Never trust a tory
3. Never trust a tory
4. Never trust a tory
5. Never trust a tory
6. Never trust a tory
7. Never trust a tory
8. Never trust a tory
9. Never trust a tory

@TheBreadmonkey
There are cars with starting handles (cranks).

@TheBreadmonkey
Make Love, Not war.

@TheBreadmonkey if you are unsure, smoke it

@TheBreadmonkey mohawks are made with soap and an iron

@TheBreadmonkey "shit wi' sugar on" was a valid meal if you kept asking what was for tea, as was "you either eat it or starve" when you didn't like what it was.

@TheBreadmonkey

1. Non cordless phones
2. How to read an analogue clock
3. Where food came from
4. Firecrackers
5. Incinerators in the backyard
6. A good spanking
7. Respect
8. Observation
9. And how cheap shit is

Hugz & xXx

@TheBreadmonkey
1. The winner takes it all.
2. There is a house in New Orleans they call the rising sun.
3. Jesus died for someone's sins but not mine.
4. Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.
5. Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.
6. It wouldn't be right to leave your best girl home on a Saturday night.
7. Remember what the dormouse said.
8. Everybody must get stoned.
9. There's a Starman, waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us, but...

@TheBreadmonkey
Life lessons of the 60s and 70s

- recite your times tables so you don't forget
- don't over-sharpen pencils
- everyone hates the smart kid
- sometimes you will be punished for something someone else did.
- never leave a banana in your school case for more than one day
- do as you're told
- the satisfaction you get from conquering the big slippery dip outweighs the risk of breaking your neck
- Don't cry.
- Vaccines are a miracle. Be grateful.

#LifeLessons #MidCentury #Australia

@TheBreadmonkey

You can’t fall off the floor.

Never crop screenshots. People must see your entire screen to see the content of one window taking up less than 1/10th of it.

Also, never right click/tap and save images. Always take full screen screenshots and don’t crop them.

@TheBreadmonkey
Don't walk into strong wind wearing flared trousers

Any form that has fields you can select and type in responses is best being printed, filled in by hand with pen, scanned, then faxed back to the company.

Your facebook wall is legally binding. Making a “I do not consent to (whatever)” post on your wall means all companies must comply with it.

@TheBreadmonkey Vaccines do make a difference (we are old enough to remember some of the diseases that were stopped)

@TheBreadmonkey
you don't get me, I'm part of the union.

And make that a defined benefit pension scheme, thank you very much.

@TheBreadmonkey There are no elves in the backyard, they said. Yet I waited, certain they would show themselves to me one day.

They never came. The adults were right again, dammit

@TheBreadmonkey 3 Times An NFL Game Cut To Taylor Swift Having A Bad Salvia Trip In A Box Seat

@TheBreadmonkey

The wind from the southlands is soft and beguiling

@TheBreadmonkey

#1 has to be "if a person in a white van offers you candy, run"
#2 might be "Pop-Tarts are good for you"
#3 definitely is "Tang is what the astronauts drink"
#4 could be "Conjunction Junction - What's Your Function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses..."

I've forgotten the other 5.

@TheBreadmonkey Cats actually *do* understand what you're saying, but they don't care.

@TheBreadmonkey Nader give a Tory an even break. Compound is more satisfying.

@TheBreadmonkey

Don't trust a man who wears tracksuits and jewellery at the same time.

(I am of course thinking about Paulie from the Sopranos 👀)

@TheBreadmonkey If you sit completely still and silent you might be unnoticed for up to 45 minutes of the post-watershed TV programming

Fundamental Immunology: Circle circle dot dot now you have a cooties shot

You have to run the hose for a minute or two if you don't want to drink warm water

How to make a bike ramp from 2 breezeblocks and a plank of wood

How to tell time by the light of the streetlamps (if they're on, time to go home)

Let a strange dog sniff your hand first

You can sanitise your hands by rubbing them on grass

You can sanitise a pop bottle by rubbing it on your sweater

How to spot a punch-buggy at 1000 yards

@TheBreadmonkey “…. You won’t believe number 3!”

@TheBreadmonkey don't eat anything larger than your head

@TheBreadmonkey "doctors don't want you to know #2"

@TheBreadmonkey be kind, rewind

@TheBreadmonkey Learn the rules so you know when to break the rules.

@TheBreadmonkey

70s was the best music.
stop yer whinning
eat it or starve
get yer hair cut...no
jeans were better
nae clipeing
get the belt at school and dont run to yer maw.

@TheBreadmonkey what are they? Don't drink out of the hose pipe? How to program a VCR? Inquiring minds want to know!

@TheBreadmonkey Be home before dark

@TheBreadmonkey How to use a slide rule.

@TheBreadmonkey never drink more than half a dozen beers and a few cocktails when you are driving that day.

@TheBreadmonkey
Respect 4 are elders!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@TheBreadmonkey Is lesson 1 'buy a house before inflation makes them unaffordable?'

@TheBreadmonkey I before e, except after c. Unless you’re weird Keith, the sheik neighbour.

@TheBreadmonkey one of them has to be: the only one you can count on is yourself.

@TheBreadmonkey

AS THE SNOOPY PATCH ON THE BUTT OF MY JEANS ADVISED: DON'T EAT YELLOW SNOW

@TheBreadmonkey CD is better than vinyl

@TheBreadmonkey
Oh, there were more than that, but I've forgotten them all.

@TheBreadmonkey Don't lick fire.

@TheBreadmonkey Space hoppers are the best form of transportation

@TheBreadmonkey DO NOT TRUST ANY ORGANIZATION.