A woman who I follow on the fediverse just had to delete a post due to sexual harassment.
Men if you want more diversity on the Fediverse you need to speak up and call in your peers. You need to educate them and if they persist ban them. Make it clear they aren't welcome.
Otherwise you're making it clear we aren't welcome.
It shouldn't just be us doing the work
@onepict Unfortunately a lot of men take a long time to grow up - if they ever do.
@onepict
I wonder if Fediverse design makes it difficult to be aware such things are happening until it's basically too late.
e.g., I get trolled by sexist men who are angry at me that I called out Stallman's #sexism. I quickly block all their hosts, so I don't even see them.
I wonder if the sexist behavior / sexual harassment here come from the same types of hosts?
FWIW, I give blanket permission to be @`mentioned anywhere some dude is harassing someone.
@bkuhn @onepict @RadicalSocialWorker
Some of the problem seems to be cultural, some technical, and the two things affect each other as well so there's some grey area.
On the cultural side, some people still have this idea that they can say what they want and if people don't like it they can block it. I would dearly hope this is a minority, but it is difficult to tell because I don't know all the abuse others go through.
On the tech side, I don't *think* it's the Fediverse structure per se that's the problem but certain missing safety features in Mastodon. Another Fedi platform GoToSocial has more safety features.
@bkuhn @RadicalSocialWorker I think it's a mixture. Some instances, sure the harrassment happens, but even on more mainstream hosts we have issues.
So yes some hosters enable that. But it's a societal issue.
We're in a time where the harrassment is encouraged. Folks need to be ashamed again, not be given permission in service of "free speech"
Folks love quoting the human right of free speech but also tend to forget Freedom of Association.
The free speech reminds me of what airports used to be like. Only old people like me remember how hard it was to walk through an airport w/out being harassed in some manner. (Depicted for comic effect in _Airplane_).Our society finally realized that Free Speech doesn't mean everywhere at all times. While I do think airports should have Free Speech Zones (small designated areas), we are better off we all aren't accosted with toxic views everywhere at airports.
@onepict Fellow men, do better!
#OwnYourPrivilege
@onepict Sad to see the usual DARVO reply-guy turning up with his uneducated response.
@HollieK72 yeah, I can block, but others can still see it as well.
Some control over replies would be nice.
@onepict You can block, I can block, but the problem is still there; which is guys like him, as per your original post.
@HollieK72 it is a classic example of the flaws.
But as you note this is as much a social issue.
So many men spoiled as boys. They've a lot of work to do.
Men need to keep making it clear it's unacceptable. Sometimes that means not playing with them in the playground.
@onepict I'm a guy and have had people send me gore pics. It has nothing to do with being a woman, there are just evil people out there.
Don't forget you can block/mute entire Mastodon domains.
Or what, you wanna use Youtube, X, Facebook, etc? You will still have sexists and trolls there as well.
Besides, what can I, a guy, do about hateful people for YOU?
Think about this realistically.
@Cushee_Foofee wow, that is seriously the shittiest of takes.
> Besides, what can I, a guy, do about hateful people for YOU?
You can start by not being That Guy. If you're confused why your reply makes you That Guy, read the links from parent toots.
And here's one more link to read:
https://anotherangrywoman.com/2023/01/18/how-to-give-advice-on-the-internet-without-being-an-utter-menace/
@rysiek You need to go outside more.
@onepict I am a man and they are not welcome
@onepict
If you see a woman on social media and your first instinct is to harass her, your dick should be turned inside out until you learn not to do that. Please note that this is a lesser punishment than I think you deserve, which is to be castrated and de-dicked, leaving you one hole for all your waste to come out. The constant infections should keep you busy and leave women to post without your input.
Why did she have to delete the post, couldn't she just report the person?
@sibrosan @onepict it wasn't the original post that she took down, it was a redacted screenshot of the inappropriate comments. Edit: The takedown was because her post started to go viral, and jackasses started harassing her there as well.
She reported the comments but the lemmy instance moderators apparently didn't care about creepy harassment.
@lisettedeboer
better moderation might help, but most important is men need to educate other men, come down hard on misogynists instead of leaving it up to women-that doesn't work.
Men created misogyny, it's their responsibility to sort this out.
@onepict I call it out when I see it, but, unfortunately, I generally don't see it.
Once you've read that, here's some more posts from my cobbles blog.
https://dotart.blog/cobbles/on-bears
https://dotart.blog/cobbles/ignoring-boundaries
https://dotart.blog/cobbles/reflections-on-fedicon-and-foss-guilt-by-association
https://dotart.blog/cobbles/the-others
https://dotart.blog/cobbles/defiance
Well that post was popular. Clearly this seems to be a new concept to some folks. It's not my or the other folks jobs to educate you.
Here's something else to read. H/T to @rysiek
@onepict I spent *several* evenings recently kicking out unwanted registration attempts from a VOIP telephone system that I had to register SIP trunks on, and I suspect there is a strong crossover between the people doing this sort of thing for fun (or to steal resources) and the lads who deliberately set up entire Fedi instances to cause trouble and exploit the known flaws in ActivityPub (which seems to be a larg
e cause of the problem)
I keep this system safe because its used by a social care company to look after vulnerable people, and anyone setting up a Fedi instance who isnt' a bad actor needs to *constantly* put in as much effort as this
