Right. I have become hyperfixated on the remake of the 1989 Tom Hanks film The Burbs. For a few different reasons. Primarily it doesn't feel long enough since the film to remake it (I will not acknowledge 37 years have passed), but also because it stars Keke Palmer who I'm in love with and feel sure we're destined to be together but not like in a weird way I just want to follow her around secretly and take pictures of her and put them in my basement shrine - and also Jack Whitehall. But like in a straight role as the handsome husband. Jack Whitehall. With Keke Palmer. And I don't know what they've done but he does look genuinely handsome. What is happening. Can someone do this to me? They've probably just fed him well and made him drink a lot of water and done his hair nice and he's got a bit of a tan. Is that all I need? To start looking after myself? Urgh. Never gonna happen. Sorry Keke.
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@TheBreadmonkey is it because he looks more like you? 🤭
@TheBreadmonkey the Jake Tanhall glowup is a good one 🤌
@TheBreadmonkey It’s a TV series? There is not enough mystery for it to be a TV series. This will be a bad TV series. Although that never stopped them making anything else, I suppose.
Petition to remake it but call it The Boobs and have it just be about boobs
@TheBreadmonkey Petition to remake it but call it the Roids and have it just be about Haemorroids.
Sometimes I don't know what I'm even talking about
Also remake X Men but call it Sex Men
@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey "Darling, your mother's here!"
"Just a minute! I've just got to finish off drawing Hattie Jacques in blackface!"
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Remarkable. I hope this survives the coming apocalypse and lays the foundations for the study of our civilisation.
Hello, my name, is Professor Sex
And I am Wolverpeen
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@TheBreadmonkey They remade The Burbs? 👀👴
Everything is being remade now. They're remaking you. You're the old version now. The new you also stars Jack Whitehall.
@TheBreadmonkey “Matthew (2026)” starring Jack Whitehall as Matthew.
@TheBreadmonkey That's probably #AI I mean, she has a beard!
@TheBreadmonkey He's definitely growing into his man face.