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Ben - snake expert
Ben - snake expert
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

I wonder sometimes what I'd be like with a net worth of £550billion. I certainly have intent to do good in the world, but I'd also want a team of scientists working on bio-engineering actual dragons. Sure I'd end homelessness but the skies will be filled with winged fire-breathing monsters. Projects to tackle environmental disaster, but also...... motherfuckn dragons. Will they be friendly? No. We'll need underground housing and fireproof hats.

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Negative12DollarBill
Negative12DollarBill
@negative12dollarbill@techhub.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 42 minutes ago

@TheBreadmonkey Time to watch Reign Of Fire again. Cruelly underrated.
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0253556/

Tulen valtakunta (2002) ⭐ 6.2 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

IMDb

Tulen valtakunta (2002) ⭐ 6.2 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
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Mary Austin VOTED 4 HARRIS!
Mary Austin VOTED 4 HARRIS!
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey
Do it! Do it! Dragons eat virgins, right? We'll feed them tech bros and reply guys and ICE agents all day. Talk about making the world a better place.

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qurlyjoe
qurlyjoe
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey
I think if you were plotzed with a blob of money like that you’d manage to do pretty well, for yourself and the rest of us. It’s the folks who actually strive to make that kind of money that are shits with it if/when they get it. Look at Zuck’s ex as an example. All she had to do to earn her pile was fuck him for a while and then hire a good lawyer. Now she’s giving away tons of it.

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Kim Possible :kimoji_fire:
Kim Possible :kimoji_fire:
@kimlockhartga@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey new vacation getaway: spend a day in Ben's head! ❤️❤️❤️

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Ben - snake expert
Ben - snake expert
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@kimlockhartga

I really don't recommend it

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Jules
Jules
@afewbugs@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey How much are you willing to give your dragon-making scientists, and what proportion of their time are they required to devote to dragon-making? Might there be scope to devote a certain proportion of the research budget and out-of-hours equipment use to, say, plant science research?

I've always wanted to be a mad scientist. I could have minions and black nail polish and scrawl on glass walls and everything. Is a secret underground lair included or is there a bench fee?

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Ben - snake expert
Ben - snake expert
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@afewbugs

Changed my mind. You can have all of it. All hail you!

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Jules
Jules
@afewbugs@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Fuck YES! Finally my supervillain origin story, I've waited so long! The dragons will be purple and breathe fire powered by sustainable biofuels. As my second order of business I shall also be bringing back those nine foot long prehistoric millipedes, which I shall use to transport snacks around my secret volcano lair like those novelty trains. My cats are now immortal and armed with lasers. I've painted a Progress Pride flag on the moon

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Jules
Jules
@afewbugs@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey I've seen Jurassic Park, I know not to use parthenogenic frog DNA so I'm practically overqualified

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Josh “Space Phrasing” Cubert
Josh “Space Phrasing” Cubert
@josh@hactivedirectory.com replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@afewbugs @TheBreadmonkey Hold on to your butts.

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Log 🪵
Log 🪵
@log@mastodon.sdf.org replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey You do you, but *my* billions are going towards developing a city for crows that humans may also live in, if they agree to serve the crows.

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Carsten Franke
Carsten Franke
@carstenfranke@mastodon.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey

Your browser does not support the video tag.
GIF
GIF
a sign that says " remain indoors " in white letters
a sign that says " remain indoors " in white letters
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Carsten Franke
Carsten Franke
@carstenfranke@mastodon.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey we could start an open source project for those dragons. Setting up a Kickstarter right now. Delivery will start in late 2026.

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JWcph, Radicalized By Decency
JWcph, Radicalized By Decency
@jwcph@helvede.net replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey You're already a far better billionaire than any of the actual lot we have now & you don't even have a billion quid yet...

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Ben - snake expert
Ben - snake expert
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@jwcph

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤️

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Maddad ☑️
Maddad ☑️
@maddad@mastodon.world replied  ·  activity timestamp 5 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey

I like where this is going....😂

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thethuthinnang
thethuthinnang
@photovotary@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 5 hours ago

I like it, too. I could live in that world. blobcatgiggle @maddad @TheBreadmonkey

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...a pleasant rascal
...a pleasant rascal
@Nead@social.vivaldi.net replied  ·  activity timestamp 5 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Sounds like that shroom farm grow-house is working out for you.

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Justin Derrick
Justin Derrick
@JustinDerrick@mstdn.ca replied  ·  activity timestamp 5 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey If you're a normal person and not a sociopath/psychopath, you'd probably never be worth 550 billion... Once you had more money than you could possibly spend in one human lifetime, you'd start easing human suffering that existed around you.

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Stanley Nerdlinger II
Stanley Nerdlinger II
@Nerde@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 5 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey
Adam Levine once said, when you become rich and famous enough, you discover that no matter what you do, you’ll still be successful and that’s really fucked up.

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Ken Butler
Ken Butler
@nxskok@cupoftea.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 6 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey not like Idris on Ivor the Engine, then?

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Verđandi K Soldusty
Verđandi K Soldusty
@Soldusty@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey
Well of course your dragons would be evil, their engineered by human beans.
Now, yer all-natural dragons, like to stay illusive & hidden so they can avoid having to be evil.

I'd still prefer the threat of dragons over psychotic / senile politicians / presidents / Prime Ministers / etc.

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Nuclear Oatmeal
Nuclear Oatmeal
@NuclearOatmeal@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey

Ok, ok, ok, but hear me out.

Penguins with surface-to-air launchers.

Could I get a grant from you too research that? Not too expensive, maybe about $100MM USD? Mind you, that's just R&D. We'll discuss production costs in phase III.

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Steggy
Steggy
@steggy@sunny.garden replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@NuclearOatmeal @TheBreadmonkey geese are already aggressive and terrifying. I’m sure they can be trained to dive bomb the dragons too.

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Andrew Deacon
Andrew Deacon
@aadeacon@mastodon.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 3 hours ago

@steggy @NuclearOatmeal @TheBreadmonkey Training probably wouldn’t be necessary, remember they are vicious birds capable of breaking a mans leg.

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Ben - snake expert
Ben - snake expert
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@NuclearOatmeal

Do you mean firing penguins at people over enormous distances or arming penguins? If the latter how will they use them and who are they using them against?

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Everyday.Human Derek
Everyday.Human Derek
@EVDHmn@ecoevo.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey @NuclearOatmeal
I’m telling you penguins wolnt just let you weaponize them.

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Nuclear Oatmeal
Nuclear Oatmeal
@NuclearOatmeal@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@EVDHmn @TheBreadmonkey

And that's why this a R&D grant application. You may be right.

I may be right. <lightning/thunder/maniacal laughter>

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Nuclear Oatmeal
Nuclear Oatmeal
@NuclearOatmeal@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey

Ah. Armed penguins. We need something to deal with the dragons. Seriously though, who's going to expect a penguin to whip out a shoulder launcher and blast out dragons in the air? If we have enough funds, we might even be able to gene edit them to yell out "Yipee-kai-yay motherfuckers!!!" if they hit one.

No, auto-carrot, I did NOT mean "motorcycles".

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SarcastiCat
SarcastiCat
@Plumbert@thecanadian.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@NuclearOatmeal @TheBreadmonkey Do penguins even have shoulders?

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Nuclear Oatmeal
Nuclear Oatmeal
@NuclearOatmeal@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@Plumbert @TheBreadmonkey

They WILL!

After I get my grant.

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Ω 🌍 Gus Posey
Ω 🌍 Gus Posey
@Gustodon@mas.to replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Reign of Fire 2: Ben's Dragons

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Charlie Phillips/Dolphinchaz
Charlie Phillips/Dolphinchaz
@Dolphinchaz@mastodon.scot replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Yup - everything is just better with dragons. 🐉

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Kerry Mitchell 🍁
Kerry Mitchell 🍁
@KerryMitchell@mastodon.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey So you’d be kinda like the guy from the Spider-man meme

Spider-man:
YOU CAN
REWRITE DNA ON THE FLY, AND YOU'RE USING IT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS? BUT WITH TECH LIKE THAT, YOU COULD CURE CANCER!

Sauron:
BUT I
DON'T WANT TO CURE CANCER. I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS.
Spider-man: YOU CAN REWRITE DNA ON THE FLY, AND YOU'RE USING IT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS? BUT WITH TECH LIKE THAT, YOU COULD CURE CANCER! Sauron: BUT I DON'T WANT TO CURE CANCER. I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS.
Spider-man: YOU CAN REWRITE DNA ON THE FLY, AND YOU'RE USING IT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS? BUT WITH TECH LIKE THAT, YOU COULD CURE CANCER! Sauron: BUT I DON'T WANT TO CURE CANCER. I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS.
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scribblans
scribblans
@scribblanitea@cupoftea.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey It seems needing underground houses and fireproof hats are necessary whenever to make us safe form any human being that gets to be worth £550 billion.

From you, it's dragons.
From Elon, it's satellites.

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Log 🪵
Log 🪵
@log@mastodon.sdf.org replied  ·  activity timestamp 4 hours ago

@scribblanitea @TheBreadmonkey Can we put repeater collars on the dragons, so they can bring broadband internet service to the burnt-out blackened skeletons of rural buildings all around the world?

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Arakin
Arakin
@arakin@meow.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey trickle -down economy at work, as your dragons help provide a business and employment boom in an exciting new range of products that are part of the new zeitgeist! 🐲

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caitp
caitp
@caitp@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey don't give thiel any more ideas damnit

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JackTheRebelCat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇵🇸 🇺🇦
JackTheRebelCat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇵🇸 🇺🇦
@JackTheCat@mastodon.scot replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey What kind of sandwich would you eat?

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Ben - snake expert
Ben - snake expert
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@JackTheCat

Same as normal. 5 shepherds pie and mayonnaise burger baps.

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JackTheRebelCat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇵🇸 🇺🇦
JackTheRebelCat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇵🇸 🇺🇦
@JackTheCat@mastodon.scot replied  ·  activity timestamp 7 hours ago

@TheBreadmonkey Ideal Park Run nutrition.

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