A top-down photograph shows a rustic breakfast laid out on a wooden table with shit (stuff) all over it, haphazardly. At the centre is a large white plate holding a “posh” version of bacon and eggs. On the plate is a sunny-side-up fried egg (probably ostrich or some nonsense) with a bright orange yolk, sprinkled with chilli flake. Around it are small roasted new potatoes with browned skins, roasted cherry tomatoes, and several thin, pink ribbons of prosciutto. A slice of dark, toasted sourdough bread with melted butter rests against the side of the plate. Sage leaves are scattered over the food. To the right of the plate are two short glasses filled with orange juice, and slivers of what looks like orange peel. At the top of the image is The Telegraph logo, and below the photo the headline reads: “Posh bacon and eggs.”