Got Carols from Kings on (because I like it). Two things - firstly, some hymns are fucking mental. Second - someone just did a speech about how God invented everything and Trish has explicitly told me to stop naming things that God invented like sick skateboard kickflips, the cravat, ball bearings, Brita water filters, big huge double-ended dildos, white wine, kangaroos, pubic lice, breakfast cereal, sausage rolls, that thing where scissors go ssshhhhhhwwwwp through wrapping paper, olive stones, Special Brew, heavily cut cocaine, strawberry allergies, stray dogs, plastic in the oceans, erectile dysfunction, Jeffrey Epstein, microphones, Jack Daniels, macrame, my pyjamas, I could go on.
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@TheBreadmonkey
Is everything part of set? Or is that a category? 🫣🤣🙏
Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe...
I'm not gonna keep posting these god damn lyrics. You get it.
omg, Ben . . . for awhile now (since the kids were old enough to be the ones who slept in on Christmas morning) I've put Carols from Kings on to wake everybody up. 🎄
Merry Christmas!
And to you. I love it. Not sure why. I should be totally against it but think some of the hymns are total bangers.
@TheBreadmonkey Did god also invent LinkedIn?
And Elon Musk and cookies and ballbags and monkeys and rice and curtains and famine and sleep paralysis and twirly moustaches and police shoes and self immolation and penis pumps and fondue and monster trucks and painting and viking helmets and bondage and marshmallows and bouncy castles and cats anuses.
@TheBreadmonkey best description of a "mixed bag" that I've read in a while.
@TheBreadmonkey I remember my mum asking me what I learned at school one day (I was about 4),and I said I was worried because they said that God made everything, but I didn't understand. So I picked up the nearest thing to me, which was a pepper mill and asked my mum, "So, did God make this?"
Quite right too, I mean, it is clear that your pyjamas evolved....
Just to add my fave Stephen Fry one. Let’s not forget that God invented a worm that eats its way into children’s eyes and makes them blind.
Merry Christmas.
@TheBreadmonkey it's a long list to be sure, you missed micro-machines, batman and misophonia
@TheBreadmonkey Pubic lice. Because insects weren’t already annoying enough.
@TheBreadmonkey Reminded me of this. Merry Christmas :)
@TheBreadmonkey I can only do that thing with scissors and wrapping paper as long as I don't think about it, as soon as I do, it jams up and the paper tears. God invented that too, the sod.
@TheBreadmonkey worrying that following this train of thought.
He invented you. What have we all done to deserve that!
I AM A CHILD OF THE LORD
@TheBreadmonkey The bit about wrapping ppaper made me laugh out loud.
@TheBreadmonkey Did he invent himself?
A question for the boffins down at CERN
@TheBreadmonkey Yeah, they're good at all the physics, particle, quantum, meta
@TheBreadmonkey sounds like Trish might need to pull her socks up and remember to at least try and have a jolly holly day while remembering that God made those knitted Barbie doll loo roll toppers, boxers that chafe and locusts
Also Grandmaster Flash, Melle Mel and the Furious Five, road gritting, surprise sneezes, expensive handbags, quicksand, war crimes, herpes, carpet burn, breakdance, reflection (metaphorical and actual), toilet brushes, weird pornography, flannels, flannel, soap, rope, hope, Julian Cope, the Pope, Lisa 'Left-Eye' Lop(ez), the film Nope? I could go on.
@TheBreadmonkey
Croup, if you don't speak English properly? But don't mope about it.
@phil
Came here fer an expanded list. Was not disappointed.
Just gonna add queues, ticket bastard admin fees and the Jaffa Cake Debate to the list of crap God invented.
@TheBreadmonkey and you probably would have, if Mrs B hadn't out a stop to it 😂🙉
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