The beginning of a 1994 New Yorker article entitled ‘How I Met My Wife’:
“It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way”
Read it unpaywalled at https://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/how-i-met-my-wife.html
