People will say things like "it's selfish to not want to have kids!" and then immediately follow it up with "Who is going to take care of you when you get old?" as if they don’t know what the word selfish means.
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@Alice I am still confident my plans to expire in front of my microscope in my office at work is on track.
@Alice
I used to shrug and say "the State?" but now I know to say "I assumed *you* would."
@Alice I guess all those people are taking great care to protect their kids from COVID so they'll be strong and healthy as their old-age caregivers.
Right?
*Padme meme gif*
@Alice I hear this: “I feel that it’s selfish of you not to have kids, because I need other people’s kids to take care of me when I get old. But I can’t say that, so instead I ask about who’s going to take care of you. Now, if I took care of my body enough and if I thought that I could take care of myself later, or that my own kids would take care of me (by us all for example living together etc), I wouldn’t even need to be irriterad about other peoples choices to have children or not.”
@Alice I hear this: “I feel that it’s selfish of you not to have kids, because I need other people’s kids to take care of me when I get old. But I can’t say that so instead I ask about who’s going to take care of you. Now, if I took care of my body enough and if I thought that I could take care of myself later, or that my own kids would take care of me (by us all for example living together etc), I wouldn’t even need to be irriterad about other peoples choices to have children or not.”
@Alice those people would be dummies.
That said, kids won't have a choice, their sweet sweet earnings shall be taxed.
@Alice 🤣🤣💀 jfc.
I haven't heard the "you owe me children, so breed them for me now" demand before. that seems like an insane thing for a person to say.
In this current America, ask them if you can contract their kids as golden-years caretakers at a low monthly premium subscription rate.
If they voted for Donald Christ, their kids' futures are for-sale, too.
@Alice people will also be like "but you're the kind of people who should be having kids!" when you're some combination of white, not poor, and semi educated appearing 🙄
@Alice With how the system is going, I'll croak at work.
@Alice THIS omg, I just keep overhearing this in conversations from time to time and I just want to confront them out of the blue
@Alice selfish not to? how? Just another tactic to manipulate people. considering the state of the planet, those not having children are altruists
@Alice I always answer to those questions with "so like you're taking care of your parents"
they never talk to me again, it's a win-win
@Alice I was privileged to help care for my grandmother when the time came. After all, I began my life peeing in her face (diaper duty).
It's an extremely good (selfish ?) idea to have kids and grand-kids who love you, instead of trusting Elon Musk to care for you.
@Alice At least you didn't get "Why don't you marry someone who'll make sure you don't have to work so you can take care of me when I get older"
@Alice All while not seeing that asking people who do NOT want to have children, to have children anyway is pretty selfish.
I always thought I was kind of selfish having my kids. I had them because I wanted them. That's the usual excuse, isn't it? Society expects you to want them & doesn't ask questions beyond that. But if you say you *don't* want them, wow there are a barrage of questions.
@Alice long story but my wife was kind of instrumental in getting my mom moved into hospice care, pretty much just in time to die (she passed just about a day later). Mom always hated the idea of family taking care of her - wife could tell how much pain she was in but wouldn't admit to.
Mom wasn't very communicative by then but we could see visible relief on her face once we got her into a place where her care was coming from nurses that her pain didn't inconvenience, because that was their job.
@Alice it is not possible to be 'selfish' when the other people they want us to prioritize don't exist.
@Alice I'm the eldest child in my family, my mom told me she had more kids after me as a backup plan in case I died before her.
@Alice I'm Gen X. I was always under the assumption that no one is going to take care of me when I get old, just like every other stage of my life. I'm never going to get to retire, I'm going to die at work and it's going to go on my permanent record that I failed to finish my shift.
@Alice i just feel like forcing someone to exist in this shitshow is rude af. I could never do that to a person.
@Alice people get so upset when you share decisions about absolute bodily autonomy choices like "I don't want to have kids", or "I'm going to choose medically assisted dying if I ever have such poor quality of life".
Like... sir, this is not a committee, you don't get an opinion.
@Alice
I like to point out that I only know of one person who actually "took care" of family. My SIL was paid, by the family estate, to be a caregiver for her own MIL for the last decade of her life. Sis was already a seasoned pro as a caregiver and nanny, and was part of a team of other professionals.
@Alice
But see, they are being selfless and thinking about "you". Having said that, I do agree that you not wanting kids is selfish... I mean who is going to take care of me when you get old???
@Alice Maybe it's a misunderstanding and they mean it's shellfish to not want to have kids? It kind of sounds like old testament, important to check!
@Alice as a society we still have a children as property mindset that is so damaging
@Alice what could go wrong with structuring your whole society around needing to have children in order to not suffer when you're old?
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