True solidarity requires you to resist the urge to police Black grief, Black rage, and Black relief. If you find yourself more disturbed by someone’s refusal to mourn than by the harm that necessitated that refusal, it is past time to interrogate where your loyalties actually lie.

Because here’s the reality, if your “allyship” only extends to the moments that keep you comfortable, it is not “allyship” at all. It’s performance. And performance will never dismantle the myth of white supremacy.