Departmental meeting on updating the curriculum. The Head of School speaks.

"Students all do shoplifting now. It's become an integral part of modern life. We will fail our students if we don't teach them how to shoplift well, and how to do it responsibly."

"Colleagues, we ask each of you to draw up plans on how you will integrate responsible shoplifting in your courses. Please submit your proposals to the Education Committee by the end of the month."

"To help you engage with these exciting new developments, we offer a series of hands-on workshops. The first of these will take place at the local Walmart at University Square. Yes, Professor Quintock, the workshops are mandatory."

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