it feels deeply weird to be Going Through It with my lifelong anxiety disorder as an american in 2025
like yeah i'm grappling with crushing feelings of impending doom but who isn't?
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@molly0xfff I thank the gods that my doctors finally got me onto the right cocktail of meds so that my irrational anxiety and depression disorders aren't causing me from being able to function
Because the very rational anxiety and depression are hard enough to grapple with right now - can't imagine what being unmedicated would be like
(Fucking RFK Jr is going to fuck this up for me too I'm sure of it)
@molly0xfff yes well not directly anxiety but I'm getting an uneasy feeling about the apparent lack of action from the American people.
@molly0xfff I'm thinking about being hipster about this sort of thing: "Yeah, I was hypervigilant and overanalyzing everything for terrible gotchas before it was, like, mainstream. Why do you think I was such a good sysadmin back in the day?"
@molly0xfff That's what I always say at the doctor when they ask if I've been anxious or depressed in the last 2 weeks or whatever. Like yeah, if I say no I'm pretty sure you'd have me committed
@molly0xfff This resonates so hard with me that my whole body is vibrating...
@molly0xfff Today was particularly bad for me because it is one of those anniversaries: 33 years since Hurricane Andrew, the most terrified I've ever been in my life. I guess this era feels like that hurricane. Relentless, howling winds for hours and hours that felt like they would never stop.
@molly0xfff
Same. This is going to sound woo woo, but acupuncture has really helped with my anxiety. And therapy. Honestly with what’s going on right now, how does everyone not have anxiety?
Same. This is going to sound woo woo, but acupuncture has really helped with my anxiety. And therapy. Honestly with what’s going on right now, how does everyone not have anxiety?
@molly0xfff the DSM
should add “news whiplash” to the next edition
should add “news whiplash” to the next edition
@molly0xfff feeling anxious, depressed is the right reaction to a disappointing society.
getting help from friends & doctors is the right step for a temporary solution.
fighting against the injustice, lies, and publishing the truths with allies is the only permanent cure.
@molly0xfff By now, I kind of miss the constant background anxiety of growing up at the tail end of the Cold War. We knew too well that any minor incident might spiral out of control and end it all.
But that was just game-theory bad. We operated on the assumption that everyone involved would behave more or less rationally.
Today, that assumption no longer holds.
@molly0xfff it feels weird. I don't think it will be end of the world, just very very hard time for being human (like not only breathing but caring). And I am not sure we will get back on track.
It feels mind tries to normalize it to being able to live in a moment. And anxiety tries to beat all the drums.
I suspect truth will be somewhere in the middle.
It feels mind tries to normalize it to being able to live in a moment. And anxiety tries to beat all the drums.
I suspect truth will be somewhere in the middle.
@molly0xfff it's going to get ugly, but most likely will crash and burn in the end. I think there's something great on the other side.
@molly0xfff Only those with their heads buried in the sand.
@molly0xfff my counselor and psychiatrist keep asking how i’m doing, and i’m just like “…the world is falling apart, so. not great bob.”
@molly0xfff ..well at least you are prepared. The rest of us are freaking out.
@molly0xfff right there there with you
@molly0xfff
The provider who handles my anti-anxiety medication has had to update their screening questionnaire this year to account for a new baseline.
@molly0xfff I went to my doc a while ago basically saying “hey I think I might be depressed?” and his diagnosis was “I’ve been seeing a lot of that, you are having a rational response to Reading The News” — I forget what all was going on at the time but it was definitely around the start of the Russia/Ukraine war and also it was February
@molly0xfff The doctors now ask every visit if you have felt down or depressed in the last two weeks. If you haven’t these days, that is more likely to mean there is something wrong with you. But I never say yes because it would take too long to explain.
@molly0xfff I feel it constantly since Fall 2015. Because reasons. Sigh.
Maybe it is worse if you are chronic depressed, Progressive and very attuned to politics that are fascist. You have articulated it perfectly in this post and your added comment.
I now read mostly sci-fi because the worlds are more normal than so/called reality in the US.
i would like to go back to being anxious about irrational, or at least highly improbable, things
@molly0xfff Right? What a feeling that used to be.
@molly0xfff Ah, yes. Those were the days.
@molly0xfff My thoughts always drift back to the whole drama over the Garbage Barge, because at least in that case the crisis didn't involve people. 1987 not so bad,... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobro_4000
@molly0xfff seriously. It’s hard to talk myself down at 3 a.m. when reality is often worse than whatever the 28 hamsters in my brain have dreamed up for me to freak out about.
@molly0xfff this is the most relatable thing I've read all week
@molly0xfff
Psychiatrist: Do you have anxiety?
Me: I don't think so.
Her: Because this medication effect 8s consistent with you having anxiety.
Me: Well, I'm not happy about the impending fall of civilization and the fact that we're living Ina fascist state and my daughter's odds of living long enough to have her own kids are dwindling by the day.
Her:... So we'll say yes on the anxiety....
@molly0xfff it's not great times for us with anxiety disorders, especially if you like to stay informed. So now I can be anxious about very real things.
@molly0xfff you’re not alone 🫶
@molly0xfff What was irrational about your anxiety?
For me it was learning all about Armageddon and how it'll probably be human caused, and then watched as sign after sign that this was obviously true and coming soon to the point where I thought it must be I who am insane.
And I am, clearly. Now. And it's a really wild ride inside this head because I went bye bye a long time ago. But I'll smile and sip coffee and say have a nice day I'm good and you'll believe me because I've got experience
@molly0xfff my coping mechanism has always been “oh Scott, that’s not really going to happen” and it has definitely stopped working.
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