everyone who does computer hates doing computer
the point of being a wizard is to not do magic
if you have to do magic you fucked up
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@davidgerard
My favorite kind of magic stories.
My other favorite kind are where the magic is fucked up, anytime you use it it's a monkey's paw
@davidgerard I work in IT and I tell everybody I hate computers. They are always so confused. Only thing worse than a computer is a printer.
@davidgerard Mr. Norrell would agree with that second line, and he's something of the expert on the matter.
@davidgerard That's not quite true. You're talking about doing computer for commercial ends. That's the crappy part, ruined by end-stage capitalism.
Doing computer for recreational and/or charitable ends is not nearly as annoying.
@davidgerard
Linux this, GitHub that. Here I am, with just a simple Windows machine that I keep up to date, and I haven't set anything on fire since 2011.
Linux this, GitHub that. Here I am, with just a simple Windows machine that I keep up to date, and I haven't set anything on fire since 2011.
@Rhodium103 boot straight into Excel
@davidgerard
At least until they make it so that every cell automatically feeds into Copilot to evaluate the response, and then we'll *know* we're in the darkest timeline.
At least until they make it so that every cell automatically feeds into Copilot to evaluate the response, and then we'll *know* we're in the darkest timeline.
@davidgerard I wish D&D style magic was.real.
SUGGESTION! That weird program behavior was a feature, not a bug.
Oops, shift is over. GREATER TELEPORT!
@davidgerard what if i love to hate computers?
@malvarma you must rise above
@davidgerard I want this cross-stitched on my wall in front of my computer
@davidgerard
Too generic.
If you don't get really annoyed at some point doing computer - you aren't doing it right. Gotta lean in and get really annoyed. The annoyed is where the interesting bits happen.
As for magic, I defer to the words of the master:
"Sometimes, magic is just someone spending more time on something than anyone else might reasonably expect."
-- Teller
@davidgerard I still think about my onboarding to an Identity/Directory engineer job about 15 years ago when the team lead excitedly asked me "what [my] home lab is set up like."
The answer that I do this for *work*, I do not think it is *fun*, or a *hobby*, and I will never in my life troubleshoot an #ActiveDirectory problem unless I am getting paid for it, was not what he expected.
@andthisismrspeacock @davidgerard At one point, my company demanded that remote workers set up and maintain separate wifi networks for our work computers. I told them that they paid me to maintain the corporate systems, and that if they wanted to pay me to do the same with my home network, then I'd be doing it during work hours. The requests mysteriously went away.
@NotYourSysadmin @andthisismrspeacock lol the fuck would that have been meant to achieve
@davidgerard @andthisismrspeacock Network segregation. This was after the LastPass hack where a DevOps engineer's personal laptop was hacked and the attacker pivoted to the work laptop. What my execs missed in that whole thing was that the original service that the attacker got was a publicly exposed Plex server, and that the engineer was using their personal device for work.
@andthisismrspeacock christ what sort of psychopath runs AD at home
@davidgerard
Doing computer to avoid doing computer is as effective as widening highways to fight congestion but by God I'm gonna keep doing it.
Also this reminded me strongly of the attached tweet which is probably also related to why it's so ineffective
@gbargoud @davidgerard @irene My starting position for a proposed new feature is to wonder if the backend process could be effected by a spreadsheet and an intern.
@gbargoud @davidgerard funny, this is the one that came to mind for me
@action_jay @gbargoud i have the monochrome Brother laser, so it only needs a baseball bat
@gbargoud @davidgerard
All you people who can’t tell the difference between nouns, verbs, adjective, & gerunds are making me FUCKING NUTS!
All you people who can’t tell the difference between nouns, verbs, adjective, & gerunds are making me FUCKING NUTS!
@davidgerard Oh, as a story concept hook I kind of love this.
@davidgerard What I do with computers at home is very dissimilar to what I do with computers at work.
@foolishowl @davidgerard same, but regardless, it's still too much computer
@davidgerard I can't help but feel computer magicians would feel a lot happier with their lot in life if the job came with a fancy hat. It'd likely have spared us a lot of techbro evil as they'd kill a lot of time bedazzling theirs to try and outdo oneanother on that front.
@Rycochet @davidgerard A co-worker recently switched companies, and I was asking her about it and she told me the new place was giving her a DEBUGGING RING.
A DEBUGGING RING.
I am still absolutely livid with jealousy.
@WAHa_06x36 @Rycochet @davidgerard One ring to run the code
One ring to bind it [pronounced bin dee]
One ring to ruin it all
And in the debugger find -print .exe /
One ring to bind it [pronounced bin dee]
One ring to ruin it all
And in the debugger find -print .exe /
@WAHa_06x36 @davidgerard I hope the debugging ring has amber with a prehistoric insect trapped inside.
@davidgerard If you're good at something, never do it for free. Because as soon as you get paid to do it, you'll never want to do it in your spare time ever again. It wasn't a suggestion, it was a prophecy.
@davidgerard i learned this in the ancent sysadmin shire of 2005-2008. your job as a syadmin is to automate yourself out of a job
@Viss
Isn't it to automate yourself out of the job only to get rehired once they realize noone else can desipher your poorly written scripts that are now keeping the company afloat?
@davidgerard
Isn't it to automate yourself out of the job only to get rehired once they realize noone else can desipher your poorly written scripts that are now keeping the company afloat?
@davidgerard
@Viss and somehow there's always more and you're running several hundred k8s nodes
@davidgerard @Viss Somehow the employee to service ratio has exploded to 1:250
@davidgerard if k8s is involved, burn the building down and run.
or hire us to port it all across to incus :D
@davidgerard The point of being a wizard is to cast delayed blast fireball on a gold coin and toss it into the local beggars, or have I been playing AD&D wrong ?
this is not an invitation to say "well *I* love doing computer", nobody asked
@davidgerard Well, I certainly didn’t ask for a proclamation to be made in my name. Yet here we are.
![[object Object]](https://media.mas.to/accounts/avatars/109/287/758/133/964/366/original/0f3099c0adfb36a0.png "[object Object]")
@davidgerard the leopards would never computerize *my* face