Hey, it's time to have the consent chat with folx again! Yay!
So, I know I can sometimes come across as flirty, maybe even a little sexual...and I am. BUT that doesn't mean that everyone gets an evergreen ticket to ride.
Consent is an ongoing process鈥攃ontinuing education鈥攏ot a one-and-done checkbox.
Boundaries change, and so do circumstances. Just because we had hot cybersex a week ago doesn't mean I'm down for pet names or roleplay today. The number of unsolicited dick pics I've seen in Signal this week is too damn high! (the solicited number was just about right)
There's a distinction between different mediums and contexts. Like, my nudes are there for your enjoyment. I know y'all touch yourselves to 'em, and that's pretty hot. But it's not an open invitation to hit me up on Signal like we're dating (unless we actually are).
I value my wholesome-ish designation, and I try hard to be as鈥攊f not more鈥攚ell-known for my community-building, outreach, and research as I am for my body.
So, ask. Ask early and often. And if I say no, it's not personal...it's preference. I prefer friends, open chats, and enthusiastic informed consent.
TL;DR; Fedi is for friends, community, and fun鈥攁ll of which I prefer to do in public interactions. Flirting is encouraged, but either keep it light (or be really clever with the punnuendos).
In contrast, I use Signal for messages that are too personal or private for Fedi. Sometimes things get intimate, but this isn't OnlyFans chat.
I've noticed that since starting @AltAfterDark, I've been getting a lot more chat requests on Signal, and I've already had to remind several of those folx that escalating requires new consent for each session and that I'm not an on-demand fantasy.